Not getting along with his family… deal breaker?

We've been together for about 3.5 years. He just turned 30 and I'm in my mid 20's. The relationship between his family and I hasn't been the best since the start.

Some background info: we're from the same continent just different countries. Both live in the U.S and speak our mother tongue and English. Growing up I never really had issues making friends or getting along with others. I'm a mix of introverted/extroverted. If you ask my friends, they'd describe me as overall friendly. Never has issues with other families I've been around.

From the beginning I never really felt welcome. His family gatherings are always 15+ people, obviously everyone has known each other since the minute they were born so they mostly talk among themselves. The way that I see it - the family should try to get to get to know the new person. Apparently my boyfriend thinks it's the other way around.

As I mentioned above, nobody really tried to get to know me the first 2-3x I was around them. So I took it upon myself to try to get to know them by asking them questions about their life (job, hobbies, etc). It didn't' take long for me to realize that after I was done trying to get to know them, the conversation died out. I can't remember a single time when they asked a question about me. Over time I started being more and more quiet. At this point I don't try to initiate conversations anymore with anyone because I already know how that's going to go. I recently switched careers and I've mentioned it in passing as I try to engage in small talk. They don't ask how my studies are going, or anything along those lines...

When my partner tries to invite me to family gatherings 9 times out of 10 I am really not trying to attend. The way I see it wether I show up or not - it doesn't matter! I might as well just me an inanimate object in the room because I'm pretty sure that's how his family sees me.

I've brought these issues up to him but he insists that I should try harder. I am soooo over trying, I am NOT one to kiss ass. I will always be authentically me wether people like it or not. He's extremely close to his family, I sometimes wonder if there's a point in keeping the relationship going since I'll never be able to connect with his family the way he wants me to. Has anyone every been in a similar predicament? Did u fix it or did you decide to move on?