I just realized how not ok I am.. (TW mentioning of ABUSE)

I had quite a rough childhood (think physical abuse, emotional abuse, neglect,... also sexual abuse) and I had a rougher adult life than I think is habitual (manipulation, coercing, financial abuse)

I'm now a single mom and recently I matched with a guy on an app and we're talking for a few days and he seems kind and interesting, but he has a rather high profile estate job. IDK about his income and I don't want to, that's none of my business especially at this point in this talking stage.

But I feel it nagging at me.

I feel about myself "I'm not going to fit in his world" and "he's going to think I want him for money" and "I might feel uncomfortable in his world"

And it comes down to me not feeling good enough.

And I got some good comebacks too, like me not fitting in his world, that's up to him to decide, like him thinking I might want him for money or whatever, that's what communication is for, potentially feeling uncomfortable isn't a reason to not see if it could work out.

I'm just worried about why that is the first thing I feel, and it's not the first time I feel this way either. It's a very nagging feeling and I don't appreciate it.