Am I wrong here?

Question

Are you okay with your boyfriend/husband/partner, going to the movies alone with someone of the opposite sex?
Some back story:
Boyfriend and I have been in a relationship for a little over 2 years now. We’ve had issues over this 1 girl friend he has, known each other since high school so 10+ years now. Her and I have had our own issues since the beginning because she has boundary issues. She is married and ultimately, when boyfriend and I talk about it, he chalks it up to me not trusting him. But I just don’t trust HER. & honestly, I’ve had horrible trust issues with friendships so it’s truly not me NOT trusting him, it’s me not trusting people outside of our relationship. He used to pick her up for the movies, drop her off back home, and it was just those 2. Now we agreed that he can only go if it’s with a friend group and not just them 2. 
But, he’s not seeing where I’m coming from here. Would you be okay with this situation?

Answer

Men and women can be friends without their being a romantic relationship. If you’ve met the woman, and she makes you feel uncomfortable… get to the root of why that is? Is it actually a her problem, or is it a boyfriend problem (example of my high school buddy is below, so you can see what I mean). 
However, as a couple… you all have to work to define what crosses and does not cross the line. Every relationship is different. 
For me it would be an automatic “no.”
1) My husband doesn’t have any female friends. I’m his best friend, and we do everything together. 
2) My husband doesn’t want to go anywhere with his male friends, so if he got up to go somewhere with a female friend 🤣 yeah, something is up with that, bud. 
Again… this is my personal situation. I know my husband very well - the man can’t hide much from me, and he certainly wouldn’t be able to spring a “new female friend” on me without my 🚩
Also, I had a friendship like the one you described.
High school buddy - I was not attracted to him at all - but when he got into a serious relationship, I distanced myself from him. 
1) I liked and respected his girlfriend (now his wife) 
2) He would call me, instead of seeking emotional support from his wife. She was literally standing side by side with him, providing caregiving services for his father… and he would call me and pretty much go “she just doesn’t get it. She doesn’t get what it’s like to watch him suffer.” She totally got it! She was the one doing the hard work of caregiving while my friend was at work. I didn’t like it -
I felt like he was placing me in the middle of his marriage. So, I slowly stopped entertaining his calls, and I would encourage him to speak to his wife about these things. We are all on good terms, but… I do not ask to do things alone with this buddy. If we’re going out, then it’s for a couple’s night with the four of us. 
Was that a me problem (the female friend)? Absolutely not. I didn’t cause that - my buddy did (a boyfriend problem). 
That’s the tricky part. It’s not the physical stuff that concerns me, but people very quickly cross the emotional line… where they are seeking a lot of outside emotional support from people other than their spouses. Everyone needs a little extra support or a safe place, but a lot folks’ don’t even attempt to have their spouse fill that role - they go looking for outside sources.

Answer

If she crosses boundaries you are uncomfortable with then he should respect your wishes. When my husband and I started dating I told him up front i had a really good guy best friend but there were no feelings between us we just had a lot in common. I made sure to have the two interact and they got along. My friend turned out to be gay but even if he wasn't we still made sure my boyfriend/husband was comfortable. Had my husband at any point been uncomfortable i would have made adjustments for him and talk out why he was maybe feeling that way. Its not controlling to set boundaries and making sure you feel comfortable in your relationship.

Answer

I’m with you on this one…he’s gonna have to tell her that since she’s married that there’s a boundary that she can’t cross. He should have told her that he’s not allowed to be with her unless you tag along or they have someone else with them that’s not biased and won’t cause friction between them

Am I wrong here?

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