Why can't I be happy for my best friend?

Winter
When I found out I was pregnant I immediately told my best friend. I received the second best news that day, so was she! She found out a week before I did. It was her second, my first and I was so excited we were going to go through this together. Not long after I started having bleeding. A month later I was told I had a miscarriage and had to have a d&c. I had kinda stopped telling her what was going on, as I didn't want to freak her out and I was heart broken to have to tell her we lost the pregnancy. When she found out it was a girl I cried, not out of happiness but sadness. I should be finding out what mine was that week too. Well today she gave birth to a healthy baby girl and all I can think is I should be too. I can't even feel slightly happy for her. I just want to curl up in bed and cry. Will I ever be able to look at my best friends daughter and feel happiness? I should be happy for her, I should be making plans to get out her way and see her and the baby and be so happy. But all I want to do is hide in bed and cry. And I feel like a crappy friend even though I am sure she understands.
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COMMENT (4)

Sa

Posted at
So I had a miscarriage Sept 1st last year and two of my cousin's are expecting. One cousin and I have due dates only a few days apart.. And I wanna be so happy for them but I am so jealous. One of them is not doing a good job of being healthy and doesn't even wanna be pregnant most of the time. I would give anything to be pregnant still. I just don't think I can look at there babies and not think of mine. I feel like such a terrible person!

Wi

Winter • Jan 20, 2016
Me too!! I look at the picture she posted of her husband grinning and holding their new baby and all I can feel is absolute sadness and I feel like a bitch that I can't be happy for her. I am sorry for your loss. I am actually glad she is 2 states away so I am not expected to come rushing over to oo and ah over the baby. I really don't know if I can.

Br

Posted at
It must be so hard for u. I had my d&c 12-31-15 and didn't tell that many people. Last week my sister in law who hasn't been pregnant in over 12 years and was in the pill gets pregnant without planning it. It was hard for me to hear especially those words from her. Here I am planning it and taking my prenatal vitamins everyday and taking care of myself and I lose the baby. I can only be happy for her. She said she was 2 months I would now be 3. And so yes it makes me angry when I think about it but that's the thing I don't. I keep my mind occupied. I am also going to think that way when she gives birth thinking I would of had already also done. But I need to stay positive and hope for the best. Waiting on AF to show up then after 2nd cycle try again.

Wi

Winter • Jan 20, 2016
That 2 week wait is so hard. I told my husband I needed a break, as the stress is getting to me. I am sorry for your loss.