I was in an abusive relationship for 3 years.

I was in an abusive relationship for 3 long years. I've never gotten hit. I've never been beaten my him. He never threatened my life. He never struck me. But I did give up my friends for him. I even shut out my family. He told me that I needed him. That I wouldn't be where I am if it weren't for him. He told me that he gave me everything because he loves me. He managed everything that I did. He told me what to wear, how to act in public, and he told me every little thing he didn't like about me so that I would change it. He managed my social media so that I wasn't messaging any other guys. He said that what he was doing was love. Everytime we got into an argument, he convinced me it was my fault. He let me know that I had problems. In every argument we had, he made sure that I know that I was the problem. He was always going out, often 8-10 hours at a time. But he wouldn't let me leave except for school and work. And for three years, I believed him. Worst of all, I believed it was okay.

It's been over a year since I finally realized my self worth and left him. No I was never beaten. But I was abused. I don't have any scars to prove it, but the havoc it took on my sanity was undescribable.

I can't help it but feel as though too many young teens stay in abusive relationships because they define abuse as "hitting" or "beating". I believe it is because teens aren't educated in this enough. They go through these controlling, manipulating and toxic relationships believing that it's love either because they grew up in an environment where being treated like that is okay, or because nobody taught them.

But really abuse comes in all forms, physically, mentally, verbally, and emotionally.

It took me 6 to 7 months in my current relationship to heal from this traumatizing experience. And I want to let you know how this affected me. For the first 6-7 months, I was self conscious about what to wear in public. I'm talking about shorts on a summer day. Because I was afraid he wouldn't like it, I was so restricted on what to wear in my previous relationship that I was so self conscious in what I wore around him. Every time I told him (my boyfriend) something, I would feel anxiouse, feeling like I have to reassure him to believe what I'm saying, because for so long I had to reassure my ex that this guy was just my friend. When he casually allowed me to go see friends and talk to my male friends, I literally had to make sure with him if it was okay. I even waited for a couple of months to make sure he was fine with it. I was afraid to cut my hair or put on makeup, fearing that I wouldn't be His ideal girl. Because in my previous relationship, I wasn't allowed to for that reason. I eventually came to realise, why did I have to be afraid of being ME? And why should I apologize for it???

And this very man, stood by my side in this healing process of mine, held my hand through it all and understood me. And he taught me what true love is. He trusts me in everything I do, as I do to him and while to some people it's a common thing in relationships, to me, that was a breakthrough. It opened my eyes to how big and wonderful true love could be. To finally have somebody trust me, and love me and respect me the way I am meant to.

So to the young teens out there, please please please, if you relate to any of this that I am describing, leave the relationship now, don't wait 3 years like I did. Look more into this subject, and educate yourselves to know when you are being abused and taken advantage of. I'm sorry this is so long but I couldn't help it but notice so many young teens on this app and even my close friends tolerate this type of abuse because they defined abuse as something physical or because they grew up in an environment where it's okay. Young ladies and gentlemen, it is never okay to be talked down by and insulted and betrayed by a person who tells you that they love you. NEVER.