Sexless relationship

My husband is getting back surgery this week and he's been on serious pain medication for months. And in between his mood swings and absolutely no sex for the past three months!!!!! Is driving me absolutely crazy. 

I feel like a dick for even writing this because I know he's in pain and his pain meds do nothing for him but make him mean and nauseous. And the second I try to initiate sex  he shuts it down out of fear that he won't get aroused because of the medication. Or God forbid if I ask him to talk to his doctor about prescribing something that could help with the lack of sex he gets embarrassed. 

So here I am, sexually frustrated out of my mind waiting on him hand and foot which j really don't mind because I know he would do the same for me if I was in his shoes. But fuck, I have needs too and if I grab my viberator he judges me! 

I have so much going on with me that I don't even bother to tell him about because I know it will hurt his feeling in some shape or form, but he gets a pass to be mean and snap at me because of his medication alters his mood. I just want sex like for Christ sake it's been over 3 1/2 month that he hasn't even touched me and I know there's no one else so please don't comment saying he's cheating he's damn near crippled with this injury of his and we're always together. Oh and on top of it, he hates when I drink because his father was a horrible alcoholic and it brings him back to his childhood if he smells wine on me so I've stopped drinking and all I want right now is for him to fuck me or a glass of wine and I can't do any of it or express myself to him, so here I am crying in the bathroom writing this post complaining about him and I feel so horrible even doing this because I know this is all out of his control. 

That's it that's my vent for the day.