2nd ectopic pregnancy

Need to vent. Just got home from the hospital after finding out I had a 2nd ectopic pregnancy in a row. The first one was a year ago. I had the methotrexate shot for the first and it worked. This time we also had the shot but the next day I had sudden severe pain in my right side. I ended up at the hospital again and had to have my right tube removed. I don't even know how to feel right now. I really wanted my rainbow baby. Now I'm terrified to try again. Granted I know I have awhile before I could try again anyway but now the idea of becoming pregnant is terrifying instead of exciting.