Advice on what to say

Edit. Thanks guys, im going to mention it to him, then do nothing else. I appreciate the advice. I'm feeling a little sad about my wedding planning. My husband and I eloped and still haven't told anyone. My husband wants to have a wedding with our family and friends this August, I do not particularly care but am willing to do it for him. Since December I've been planning the wedding. My husband was supposed to book the venue, photographer and Videoagropher. He hasn't done any of it. Money isn't an issue nor is having time to do it, he just takes his time doing things. But this time it's upsetting me because of how hard wedding planning is. I've basically planning out everything only to find he hasn't confirmed the venue. The photographer and Videoagropher messaged tonight asking if we still wanted to book them. I'm not good at confrontation but I know I need to just have a convention about how I feel but I do not want to come across as being pushy or micromanaging. Any suggestions on how I should word myself?

AITA for telling my mom to shut the fuck up

My fiancè committed suicide back in March. He was stationed in Japan and hung himself. I've been dealing with my emotions. He was cremated. I got some ashes. Recently the letter finally got to me that he had sent. He sent me his suicide letter in the mail so he would be long gone before I got it. In the letter he stated something traumatic happened in Japan and he couldn't live anymore. My mom has recently been trying to figure out what could have happened. She was wondering if he was sexually assaulted. I told her idk. Possibly. I'm not sure. The letter wasn't specific on what happened. My mom is a big conspiracy theorist. She started turning my fiance's suicide into some conspiracy and I got pissed and told her to shut the fuck up. I feel kind of bad now but I'm sick of her playing detective then trying to turn his death into some Qanon conspiracy@Chikky yeah and most mothers hopefully wouldn't try to turn their daughters dead fiancè into a damn conspiracy. I already asked her to stop. My fiancè died less than a month ago. I will probably never know what drove him to end his life. The last thing I ever heard from him was this weird text. When he didn't answer my phone call in my heart I knew. Saying "You should have excused yourself. I would never speak to my mom that way." Did you have your fiancè fucking kill himself in Japan and your mom tried to turn his death into a conspiracy theory after you asked her to stop? After you just received the fucking suicide note? No? You don't know what you would have done. Don't tell me what the fuck I should have done because you don't know what you would have done in my situation. You weren't in my situation. I just got the fucking suicide note and my mom was turning it into a spectacle. If she didn't want me to tell her to STFU then maybe be a real mom and don't put your grieving daughter through fucking bullshit by turning her dead fiance's Death into some conspiracy. She was also in MY house. The home me and my fiancè were starting our lives. So no I'm not going to excuse myself in my house. I told her to stop and she kept on. So yeah she got told to STFU. People always wanna tell people don't talk to your parents that way. How about don't talk to your kids that way? Plush she's never been a fucking mom. I was in foster care my whole life. So in reality I just told some lady that wasn't apart of my life to STFU.

Ruining the best relationship I’ve ever had

I’ve been seeing a guy for about 2 years and we’ve been “official” for about a year. We’re both recently divorced when we met. He’s been married twice with 3 kids(30,21,17) and I’ve been married once with 2 kids (14 and11).It was super casual in the beginning and neither wanted to get married again. This relationship has grown into something incredible. This man is everything I didn’t know I needed. I feel loved, safe and excepted. He tells me that I’m the best for him as well. Now I want more and he still doesn’t. Now we’re in this awful cycle. Every couple of months or so i get swept up in this and bring up future planning like moving in together. I end up with my feelings hurt. He’ll tell me to just enjoy today or tell me it’s too soon. I don’t want anything right away, I just want to know that it’s a possibility, that we’re on the same page. I want to build a life with this man.For a while now he’s been talking about buy a house in the next year or two. I finally asked if I’m part of those plans. It broke my heart when he said no. He said we’re not there yet. It doesn’t sound like he wants to wait until we’re “there”. I’m not sure if I’ll ever be enough for him. Now I’m trying to figure my own plans because I’m not apart of his and it just hurts. Am I wrong for wanting more now?

Was I wrong to say this to my kids teacher?

I have twin boys. Both in 7th grade. They don't have any classes together and have different English teachers. I had a parent teacher conference with one of my boys teachers and she's an older woman. She asked how I liked my other son's English teacher. That one is a younger. Like very young. I would be surprised if she was older than 24. I said she's great. This teacher says she hates her and starts gossiping about her and about how she tries to act young to fit in with the kids and how she uses slang to fit in. She does use slang. I meant with the younger teacher once because my son who has her got in trouble because some girl was bullying his friend for being gay in her class and he said to her what was said to Margery Taylor Green. Told her she had a bleach blonde bad built butch body. And the teacher told me "Listen. I get why he said it. But he can't say that. He will have to apologize. But he ate with that!" So I've heard her use slang. But she's also very young. Anyway the teacher was just talking about how there needs to be an age cap for teaching secondary and all these young teachers are coming in with their slang and she goes on just talking crap about her and I said "Are we here to talk about my kid or for you to hate." She got very upset that I said that but if you don't like her okay but why talk crap about another teacher to me

How with 50/50 custody of your babies?

I’m struggling to cope with my divorce process because being away from my babies (1.5 & 3 yr old boys) is destroying me. How do you cope? Soon to be ex husband is hateful says things to the boys on FaceTime like “daddy has to find a lawyer because mommy” I had to leave due to verbal and emotional abuse he would do in front of the boys. Tons of crossed boundaries etc narcissistic abuse.

Am i controlling?

My bf's social media is full of women, and half naked women. Along with women dancing, working out, etc. I ask him why he keeps looking at girls online, and he started making a big deal that im controlling, for not wanting him to look at girls. He started making a fuss about having to delete his social media, and never look at girls, saying that he cant live without social media. But, i never told him to stop. I only ask him why he keeps looking at them. And i have ask him to unfollow certain women, but he refuses. He told me i shouldnt worry, cause although theyre prettier than me, he chooses me. He said they dont matter. But, he has stopped wanting sex for 4 mths now, and rejects me everytime. Cause he masturbates instead. He told me i cant keep doing this to him, or he will not know how to live w me. He said i need to focus on how he helps me with my kids, and with my car. And that he chooses me over anyone, no natter if theyre way better looking than i am. Am i being controlling? Or i should leave him for wanting to keep living in his fantasies, while im mothering him.

Am I wrong?

Can anyone tell me if I’m wrong so me and my boyfriend been together for 7 years and I have to go to sleep with sound I usually have my phone playing a stupid show on the lowest volume next to me on the bed on my side, I moved in with him 5 years ago and it has been the same going to sleep like that every single day drunk or sober, so all of a sudden he is getting mad and telling me he need complete silence I need to turn off my phone and he grab my phone and took it away for the night and said I can’t use it at all, so I was up until he left to work this morning and than I was able to play a show and within less than a minute I was sleeping. A little back story my boyfriend been working 2 jobs for 2 years and it’s not for us we don’t have kids, car note, his rent is cheap, he want to open a business for himself that is why he is working the second job and sometime he work 2 -3 days on the weekdays and when he does he will come home to sleep for 2 hours and less, like this second job made him so mean to me and others I have so much to say about that, but however this habit of me going to sleep with sound is something I’ve done forever long before I met him and he had no problem, in 2 separate occasions he brought me something to use so I can use my phone better while I’m sleeping, oh and not to mention last night I didn’t sleep with him because he lied to me and if I had sex with him last night I could of use my phone but because I didn’t that’s why he took it away. So with all the information am I wrong?Update: the reason why I never wear a headphone because it was never a problem this is the second time he took my phone within 2 weeks and his reasoning was if I had sex with him than I could of watch a show, and I just got the new iPhone so I don’t have headphone that is compatible with it, I told him to buy me headphones because he also took his bank card from me. I wish I knew 7 years ago it was a problem so I could accommodate.

Possibly having to call DHS on my grandmother

I have a little brother that I have a 21 year age gap with. He's 15 and special needs. He has autism. He lives with my grandmother because our womb women is, pardon my French, a bitch that likes to have men cream pie in her cunt and fuck off the offspring onto other people. I have mommy issues. Moving on. Anyway, I lived with my dad most of my life. My brother was raised by my grandma and grandpa. He's a grandmas boys. Problem is they're really old. My grandma is 93, and grandpa is 96. My grandma has dementia. Them taking care of my brother has become a bigger toll especially since he's special needs. He has accidents sometimes and when I've picked him up to come to my house he smelled really bad of pee because he had an accident and no one to help him wash up because my grandparents are just too old at this point. My brother even wandered out of the house and nobody found him for over 24 hours. They can't keep up with him. They can't keep up with his needs. One day I went over there and there was poop on his bed. He had an accident and neither of my grandparents cleaned it up. Then my grandmother's dementia has caused her to make irresponsible decisions. Especially involving my brothers social security check. She was spending irresponsibility. Didn't pay the electricity bill and they were left without power for days. A lot is going on. The problem is that I know if DHS gets involved it will break my grandmother. Even when my brother visits me because she has dementia she forgets he's with me and starts freaking out and screaming when she can't find him. Losing my brother would destroy her.

Retaliation or fair?

Last year, my mother-in-law asked us Saturday morning to look after her dog for two weeks starting right then. We said no because we had a four month old at the time and the dog was not good around her (jumping on her, pawing at her, and knocking over her play pen when she was NOT in it thankfully!). The dog is not allowed around our daughter because she's too rough.Our power is out and I asked her if we could store my extra breast milk in her freezer, otherwise I'm losing about 100 oz. She said no, and then said something about how when she needed something I said no.My husband says that we asked her and she said no and it's her prerogative. It just sucks. I believe though that the two things are so vastly different that you can't say it's just one person helping out another. Watching a poorly behaved dog for two weeks with no notice is very different from storing breast milk in a freezer.

Was this normal for a little kid?

When I was little (2nd grade and younger) my sister used to tell me to shower with her. I asked my mom if I ‘could’ hoping she’d see I was scared and say no, but she never noticed and just said yes every time. In the shower, my sister told me I had to touch butts of tongues with her. I hated it so much but didn’t think I had a choice (she was 4 years older than me) so I did it every time. She also taught me to masturbate around this time. Was this normal?

Don't want my kid to grow up in a broken home

I got pregnant at 15 by my husband. He was 16. When I turned 16 our parents married us. They didn't want the baby born out of wedlock because both our parents are Catholic. They made it seem like it was something we had to do and we inherited a house from his dead grandmother. He's 28 I'm 27 and for years I kind of feel like we are roommates. We don't seem to really want the same things in life. I don't know if I still love him. Sure I thought I did when I was 15 but we were together 4 months when he got me pregnant. We had been together for 10 months when we got married. I don't know. He recently got drunk and talks about he wishes he got to explore himself before settling down. He had told me a month ago he thinks he's bisexual and when he was drunk he was saying he's sad he never got to explore that. We kind of just stay together for our child.... We've tried marriage counseling but it didn't really do much for us. I kind of wonder if we would be happier living seperate lives but I feel like it's selfish to take our kid out of a two parent home

When did you announce?

We announced in January to immediate family but nobody else knows. Our bosses know but that’s about it. I didn’t know how to approach my peers and didn’t want to make a special announcement so today my manager asked when did I plan to announce and I told her idk but if she wanted to tell people it’s not a secret. So she’ll be delivering the message lol, is that bad? I honestly think it’s weird walking up to ppl and saying “I’m pregnant” they’re just coworkers. When did you announce on social medial and how did you announce to your peers?

How to start again?

Any advice on going through a breakup when broke? Currently rent together and have a toddler together. Where do I go from here 😢

How should i handle this?

My husband sold his car out of no where. He told me once he did it saying it was an opportunity he couldnt pass up. His payment was 800$ a month plus 400$ for insurance and expensive gas maybe 100+ a month and 150$ parking. I said but you love your car and he said he is a simple man and can take a bus. He only had 2 yrs left to pay on it. He said he needed a break for those high payments. Our lives are very separated, our finances are separated. He is retired and i work for myself. Im up at crazy hours of the night working. He doesnt ever help me with any payments. For the first time he is talking about helping me with rent and just being able to help since he wont have this high payment. I have a car and my payments are not as high but it’s still a struggle for me because I’m still working and working for myself at that. Today is the first day he asks me to use my car to run errands. He said it wont be a habit but I’m not too sure. I guess I’m asking when do i lay the law about him paying half of everything if he is going to be using it. And he kind of mention that if it came down to it he can help pay for my car payment. I guess i don’t believe this lol, and i dont want to grow resentful of him using my car because he wanted to make his life easier and spend the money elsewhere instead of actually being helpful. He makes more money than me, i work so much to keep up because at this point i realize im living too high. And my husband sleeps at night and enjoy his retire days.My husband believes in 50/50 doesn’t matter if you are pregnant, just gave birth etc, struggling or not, even if he has more he simple doesn’t help financially, thats why i feel this way and all this help me talk doesn’t sound real:(

Quarter life crisis

I’m aware this probably seems so immature. I’m 25 and been with my partner since we were 18. We have a 2.5 year old. I am feeling so miserable and I feel so guilty. He is not a bad person at all, he’s incredibly relaxed- like to a fault. I have sacrificed so so much for our son. He has a rubbish job with 0 ambition, can’t drive, cant be bothered to learn etc. He is the least romantic person to exist but I do feel he genuinely loves me. He’d never cheat or leave me- partially because he’s so so comfortable and relaxed. but why do I find myself being so bored? I get scared he’s going to propose, not excited. I can’t imagine this being the extent of my romantic life but am I expecting too much? Am I the awkward one? We’ve never been sexually compatible- but again, it’s good sex but i don’t have the fire or passion and we never have. I think im being selfish because we have a son and it’s not like im abused or anything but i just never want to be with my partner. I wish he would leave me… I have had that infatuated feeling before but never with him. I don’t know how we ended up together really- he used to treat me like crap and idk if I wanted to fix him or something?? Which I did the past 6 years have been fine.I think we’d be great friends… Sorry to ramble, has anyone else had these feelings before? What did u do?

Would you go in your husband's place

Hi everyone! I'm looking for some advice. I have not really posted much on here, at least about my husband in a few years. I used to post more often because I was really stressed. Me and my husband share a daughter together. I got pregnant as a teen and my parents kicked me out. So me and my husband got married at 17 but were not allowed to live together. His family (step family) sent me with his other family members to raise the baby and he stayed and worked on the farm and we really only got to see each other once a month. It was like that for 3 years and I had no idea in that time that his step brother was severely abusing him. He did some of the most disgusting things you could do to a person. My husband was severely sexually abused by his step brother and his brother would just torture him. He has a prosthetic eye because his step brother stabbed him in the eye. His step brother stabbed a screw through his foot and the whole family knew he was doing this and didn't do anything. One of the worst things his step brother did that he still has to this day is he branded his initials into my husband's leg/thigh. He was a psychopath. And he went to prison.My husband struggled a lot with depression and suicidal thoughts along with PTSD. My daughter has some trauma from witnessing her dad try to hurt himself. My husband was in and out of mental health hospitals so I was the only one working. We didn't have sex for 4 years. And I didn't even notice because I was emotionally drained. People would bully my daughter and say her dad is crazy because everyone in town knew he was constantly trying to kill himself.We are in a better place now. My daughter is in therapy. My husband attends therapy on a regular basis. He works at a school at the moment and loves his job. He finally seems to have overcome his trauma. But his step brother is trying to get paroled. He's going to meet with the parole board and is pulling the stupid I found Jesus shit that people do when they want to get out of prison. And I may piss off some people but if you do fucked up shit like that whether or not you found Jesus in prison is irrelevant. If you truly are saved and sorry then one he would say that which he hasn't and 2 you'll take responsibility and serve your time in prison instead of trying to shortcut it. He is a monster and he needs to stay there. Victims are allowed to attend parole hearing but my husband doesn't want to because he can't handle seeing his face. He worked so hard to not have to see that mans face every time he closes his eyes. I found out that victims close families are also allowed to attend in the victims place and I'm thinking about doing it for my husband. But hearing he's trying to get paroled at all breaks my husband and has messed with his mood. I'm wondering if I shouldn't bring this up anymore or still make the suggestion that I go.

Anyone playing any Aprilfools jokes on their husband/partner?

Is anyone planning on doing any jokes to their partner for April fools? I want to but not sure what to do this year! 😆

Did I make the wrong decision to stay??

My husband and I’ve been married almost 11 years and throughout our marriage he’s been unfaithful many times. Not sure if he physically slept with someone but social media was his play ground. He loved Snapchat and sending photos back and forth with women. Anyways last year I finally said I was done and started looking for a place to rent and a job. He noticed I was really serious and started to change all the things I’ve been asking him to for years. He begged me to stay pretty much and I gave in but now it seems like he’s not doing everything he’s promised. I don’t think he’s talking to anyone or entertaining women but I keep regretting that I let him talk me into staying. My hearts not in this marriage anymore and I don’t know what to do. Even when I’m happy I’m really not. I put on a smile for our kids.

Guys I need to know if I'm crazy

My admin is making me feel crazy. Am I crazy? I had a substitute teacher in my place because all the English teachers had to go to this science of reading thing. When I get back I have a student tell me that the sub told them(14 year old boy) that he's going to hell. She told him this over his nails being painted black. 4 other kids told me the same thing and my next door teacher heard. I put in a report and ask that she never be placed back into my classroom again. My principal is saying saying that reporting is harsh for saying just saying their beliefs. Telling a child they're going to hell for any reason is wrong and I don't think she needs to be in a classroom. They're saying with the report they have to investigate it and this seems like an overreaction and if she gets fired there will be one less sub and they already don't have many subs. I think telling kids they're going to hell is more important. Am I crazy? You don't need to be around children if you're going to say things like that.Edit: There will be an investigation. The report is in the system so our district sees it and our superintendent will make them investigate. They just wanted me to retract my report