Emotional

So today my best friend gave birth to her daughter. She is three weeks early. Luckily all went well.

For me having just passed the two month mark of loosing our little one at ten weeks, today has been one of totally differing emotions. On one hand total excitement and happiness for my best friend, she has wanted this for a long time and her little one is a cutie. On the other hand sadness and upset, this moment should have been a time for my husband and I to say this is us next, to be getting excited that we only had fourth months or so to go before meeting our own little one.

My friend sent over a video of her cuddling her little one, saying hello to our group chat, this made me breakdown and I had a good cry.

My husband has been amazing in all of this, quietly understanding, knowing when to give hugs. I asked him if he was going to message my friends husband to say congrats (they are friends too) he responded with I will, but I can't just yet. This reminded me that in his own quiet way he has been my rock and my support but that I need to remember this isn't just about me, he is feeling as much as I am too.

Sorry if what I have written doesn't make sense. Got a lot in my head at the

moment and just needed to get it down.