depression

I am 26 year and in the past 4 year am start have a lot depression and a lot anxiety since I have cancer in the past 4years my life change 4 ever. I keep trying to have s baby and I can't and the pain in my heart is so much I feel like my boyfriend don't understand me we have a family together 2 kids my previous marriage daughter and my boyfriend son and I know he love me like crazy but he is so cold and he think the everything is in my mind he never want to talk and when I talk he fast said you annoying me we love each other a lot I now that but the every day make everything more hard I don't know why if have to be everything my foul