So sad

I have been feeling depressed for about two, two and a half months now. I went to the dr a month ago and got on antidepressants for the first time though I’ve battled it off and on ever since I started getting my period at 11 years old. I’m going back to the dr tomorrow because they’re not working well enough after a month. Last week I got a new job that I’m excited to start, and later that night I was so sad and I cried without a reason. A week ago, my bf and I went out bar hopping with some of his friends. I was able to relax and have fun for the first time in a long time. I felt so sexy and confident! Then the next night I was in the shower sobbing quietly for a half hour because I felt fat and repulsive. Tonight, I had sex with my bf, and it was pretty good. This is important because his sex drive is lower than mine, and we typically do it once a month. Immediately afterwards, I felt like I was clobbered over the head with a soul crushing wave of sadness and I sat on the toilet with tears streaming down my face. My bf asked me if I had cried, and I lied and said no. I’m really struggling with this, and this seems to be coming out of left field for him because I was so confident and fun when we first started dating 8 months ago. He hasn’t ever struggled with this so he doesn’t know why I’m so sad and cry so much. I honestly don’t know what to tell him. I hate this. I hate that this is sucking the life and joy from my life. I’d appreciate any uplifting words or kind advice you all can give. I know so many of us suffer from mental issues, and I’m grateful that I can pour this all out here anonymously. I have a great support system, but I don’t want to burden them. It’s bad enough my poor bf is dealing with this. Thanks for reading this.