TRIGGER WARNING- ED

I’m going in for my first psych appointment this time next week, and hopefully they’re going to be able to help me with what I have recently discovered is likely an eating disorder.

But it’s hitting me really hard tonight and I know I’m gonna work out for the next hour at least because otherwise I’m going to feel shit about going to the beach tomorrow and eating ice cream with my friends.

Any tips for making it through this last week? It’s become more obvious to me since my mental breakdown last Wednesday how my habits are affecting me but I still just can’t change it because I’m scared to go back to the weight I was and how I used to be.

I don’t need a lot of help, just enough to make it through tomorrow at least so that my friends don’t find out until I’m ready to tell them. I’ll be getting proper help starting next Monday if they’re able to diagnose me, but I’m also scared that I’m making it out to be bigger than it is and there won’t actually be anything for them to help me with and I’m just going to go on feeling this way for the rest of my life.

Honestly, over the past few days I’ve debated making my ED worse just so that they will actually take me seriously 😅

I know how bad it sounds but this is the point it’s gotten to for me.

I’ll be online for the next few hours while I do my before-bed workout so any tips and hints within that time will be highly appreciated!

Thanks guys 💜