It might be over...

The other night, I found out a friend I’ve known for ten years passed away extremely unexpectedly, and in one of the worst ways imaginable. I also unfortunately got all the details about it and it almost killed me. I wasn’t talking, part of me was in shock, part of me was in denial. I shut down. My boyfriend came over that night, and I didn’t tell him. He’d had a bad day at work, I didn’t want to bring him down. And honestly, I couldn’t say the words. I couldn’t say the happiest person I knew was dead. So I just wasn’t talking. I wasn’t exactly ignoring him I was just kind of walking around and cleaning. I guess he took it as I was mad at him. When he asked me questions, I answered. But I don’t remember what I said. I went to bed without him and he came in the room and started screaming at me. I don’t remember everything he said but he said if I was going to ignore him and throw a pity party then he was leaving and there was no point in coming back and some other really awful things. He didn’t know about my friend, but even after I managed to tell him he didn’t stop. He didn’t care. He wants to work things out, but he hasn’t apologized. Even if he did, does it matter? Half of me wants to work it out, i love this man. But the other half of me knows that since I have depression and anxiety there’s going to be days where I shut down like that. There’s going to be days when I flip my shit, and if that’s how he handles it then there is no point in being together. I don’t know what to do.