To leave or not to leave?

Hello all,

My fiancé and I have been together for 3 years and have a 7 month old.

When I was pregnant he got arrested and is in a program now to get his charges dropped. Part of the conditions in his program is that he attend weekly therapy sessions with a psychiatrist and a psychologist plus a medicine regimen, a group session with peers in similar situations, and to pass random drug tests.

He was told by someone in the program that they won’t drug test him so he’s been smoking marijuana on a regular basis behind my back and using kratom which he has had problems with in the past.

Being that he has to be on medicines to help stabilize his mood, it isn’t good for him to be using any kind of alternatives like smoking weed or kratom.

We had a conversation the first time I caught him and he just started telling me how he was using for months and was glad to finally get it off his chest and that he wouldn’t do it anymore.

Now I caught him smoking and he immediately lied to me saying it wasn’t weed and that I need to chill but I stuck with what I saw and told him if he’s smoking or using kratom then we have an issue.

He eventually admitted what he was doing then stormed out of the house saying that I need to chill and he wasn’t even serious about stopping and if he stopped it wouldn’t be for me.

I don’t want him to stop for me but because he has to take his medicines and smoking or using kratom will counteract his medicines, plus he’s in a program where they may drug test him at any given time and if he is caught then he will be charged with felonies, plus we have a baby and he should want to be a good example for our son.

Whenever he smokes he gets retarded and just obsesses over it and will stop being a productive member of society and just be a jerk and not go to work or do anything other than eat and sleep.

What should I do?

He’s saying that if I give him another chance then he will stop and prove it by taking a drug test in a month.

To me, this whole thing is childish and I really don’t want to even deal with it. I’m pulling all the weight and being the responsible one and he’s just slacking.