Should i break up?

Question

I have been with my boyfriend for almost 5 years now. We are very different in that he is a clean freak and I’m pretty sloppy with my surroundings. It’s not that I’m sorry, I just sometimes forget things are in my car and leave it there until I get around to seeing it and throwing it away. I had a McDonald’s bag sitting on the floor in my car and my boyfriend freaked out. He told me I’m trashy and that when people look at my car they’re going to judge how I live and think to themselves I wonder what her room looks like. He asked me why I can’t ever do one thing he asks (he’s always telling me to clean up after myself). Would you break up over this?

Answer

I think this is probably gonna get me yelled at, but I think you should work on your behavior, instead of the other way around. I get that to you, and probably a lot of people, it’s just a McDonald’s bag, but it sounds like  he has been battling with you for a space he is comfortable in for a long time. Imagine if it were the other way around. If he was the one leaving trash around and lacking organization, and you went around asking for help cleaning or you went around picking up after him all the time, because for you a messy house was uncomfortable. For me it is vital that the house, and space I’m in a lot, is clean and comfortable. I clean every single day, but because it’s a personal thing I don’t make my man clean. With that said though, I will get on his case for small things like leaving a wet towel on the bed, or dirty laundry on the floor, or not putting his shoes in a proper place. I think you should really hear him out, and work out an organization system that works for both of you, and you should work on picking up after yourself. He won’t get to yell at you, because you’ve picked up your own stuff, and you can both have a clean and comfortable space for living and so on.

Answer

I understand leaving a bag and some trash in the car. I have done it plenty of times myself. But you also admitted that you’re “pretty sloppy.” Maybe try to start cleaning up after yourself, whether that’s in your car or in your home. I don’t agree with him calling you trashy, and maybe he’s a bit too much of a clean freak, but my SO and I ask each other to clean up quite often. This isn’t something I’d break up with him for unless he starts calling you horrible names on a regular basis.

Answer

Maybe his reactions aren't the best BUT I hate clutter and trash. It stresses me out. I can't relax til my kitchen is clean, the counters clear, dishes done. So when my husbamd comes home and puts all his crap on the counter instead of putting it awaybit makes me feel like he couldn't take a few seconds to do something to help me keep my head clear. It's not like I ask for much,  you know?  Maybe he's like me. Maybe make an effort to show you heard him and you're working on it

Answer

um, definitely have a long conversation about this. 
the name calling is too far, it's just plain rude and disrespectful. 
if he doesn't change his behavior then yes, leave him

Answer

Okay he shouldn’t have called you trashy, but I think you guys can talk this through an compromise, I get a little where he’s coming from, but that was harsh/uncalled for.

Answer

Your car, fill it with as many McDonald’s bags as you like. Unless he pays for it he has no say

Answer

if i were him is probably broken up by now.

Should i break up?

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