Would you be OK with this?

Question

My current boyfriend is a university teacher. He was married before (he cheated on his wife) so she asked for divorce. He is pretty honest about his past. He even dated one of his students before. She was 20, I mean not a minor.
But if u were me, would you fear that such things could happen again? The fact that he dates one of his students again or cheat on me?
I know he used to love his ex wife a lot, they were together since high school. But he still cheated.
This makes me really worry about potential similar behavior even if I know he loves me a lot.
What do u guys think?

Accepted Answer

I would be more worried about the fact that he sees no ethical issues with dating one of his students. I believe most universities have policies in place about faculty/student relationships (basically they're a no-go for what I would hope to be obvious reasons to you).

Answer

A couple of red flags here tbh
He’s cheated on someone he married 🚩
He doesn’t seem to care about losing his career coz he’s dated a student 🚩
He seems quite irresponsible with his relationships

Answer

that's disgusting. i don't think i would date someone who cheats on their (ex) spouse. additionally, he's a professor. he's more than intelligent to know that dating a student is predatory. it doesn't matter that she's legal. the problem is the inherent power dynamic between a teacher and a student. it raises ethical concerns and he risked serious consequences. he could've lost his job if the university found it to be a conflict of interest. 
you're taking your chances. you get to decide if it's worth the gamble.

Answer

If he cheated on her, he will probably cheat on you. You don’t want to be with someone who dates his students when they are currently his students. That is unethical. I wouldn’t ever date a professor while being their student, especially when they have cheated in the past. If they will cheat on their partner, they will cheat on you. Their honesty is a giant red flag.

Answer

I’m not u. Because I wouldn’t even get in a relationship with him to begin with. U know ur answer and ur asking us? We’re not the ones dating him u are. U didn’t see a problem then why are u worrying now.🤷🏻‍♀️

Answer

If he truly loved someone, he would have respect and self control! People are capable of making good decisions but are just selfish human beings unfortunately....

Answer

That would really bother me. He just doesn’t seem like a very good person

Answer

Red flag for sure!! 
I wouldn’t chance it. Leave now!😬

Answer

Well, I truly believe that mistakes are our biggest teachers. We all make them, not all of us learn from them. Don’t hold his past against him just yet. Have an open and honest conversation about your fears, and try to gauge where he stands on the relationship choices he’s made. If you get the feeling that he regrets them, and has learned, and feel comfortable trusting him, then go for it. If you think he’s just indifferent about them....you might want to keep distance.

Answer

I don't understand why you have stayed with him. Did he go to therapy after cheating on his wife? Did he learn anything from it about how to not be a disgusting human to someone who loves you? 
The imbalance of power that comes from a professor/student relationship is also incredibly concerning. It sounds like he is deeply flawed. And not in a romantic" I can fix him" kind of way. But in a "he needs to have the upper hand in his relationships" kind of way. 
You shouldn't forgive him for his past indiscretions just because he told you about them or because he says he feels badly about it. Words are cheap. Look at his actions. He is not a good person to the people that love him. He uses them. He's probably very charming, but if you look deeper, something's not right. I would end this relationship. He's not the kind of man you want to build a future with.

Would you be OK with this?

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