How would you feel about this?

Okay this might be kinda long but the deal is I have the weirdest relationship with my mom. I really don’t know what to think. And it’s honestly kind of hard to explain. I’ll start by saying after her and my dad got divorced she became like much more self-centered. She didn’t care what me or my sister did as long as we were out of her hair and she could have fun and pursue relationships with men. This all went on a few years before I met my husband and then I got married and left. We moved far away because my husband was in the military, and I haven’t lived back home since. Well I’ve had 4 kids since then and in all this time she doesn’t seem to take much interest in me or my kids. She never calls me, if I call her she won’t answer and won’t call me back. I’ve asked her why and when she finally responds she says it’s because she’s busy and has too much going on with her life and she’s depressed and stressed. That’s the excuse every time. She won’t come to visit because she has no money, but will save up money or spend money to go on other trips or to concerts and stuff. All the while saying she misses me and my kids. Last summer we went home to visit and she threw a huge fit over something to do with her ex and refused to go out and have a special dinner with us. Whenever it comes to him she always chooses him over everyone else.

Anyways, fast forward to this past October, her and my grandma came here to visit. My mom just had surgery on her arm so she was upset about that because her arm was totally paralyzed. She helped me out a lot around here though and was buying me stuff and generally acting much better. Besides the deal with her arm. Well after they went back home, she’s back to ignoring me. She had to have another surgery on her arm to fix it, and I’ve been calling her to find out how she is. She won’t call me back or answer. She didn’t call on thanksgiving either, which was strange but that was also before her surgery. I’m guessing it was something to do with her ex again.

What would you all do? Should I just stop calling or trying? Am I in the wrong here?