Nobody cares

So let me just start off with I’m in excruciating fucking pain. I have to get 2 root canals on my front teeth and the only thing that currently helps with pain even a little is my heating pads. I have one that you boil and a few microwave ones, I prefer the boil one cause less noise and it gets hotter. I forgot my boil one at my boyfriends mothers house (won’t get it back until Christmas eve) and only have the microwave ones at my apartment. My roommate is very bossy and restricts what I can do until she’s awake... she won’t close her door... I can’t use the microwave until she’s awake, I can’t have ANY sort of sound or light come from the living room, dining room, kitchen, or my bathroom... she knows how much pain I’m in and still not allowed to use the microwave until she’s ready to get out of bed. I decided this morning, fuck her and I’m in too much pain to give a shit and used the microwave one that usually heats up pretty quickly but it wasn’t heating up at all.. our microwave is dying but it’s hers and she won’t let us get a new one.. (one of her other rules 🙄) I just want to be able to fucking sleep and have some sort of fucking relief from this pain. So I was trying to heat it up and I was also trying to not burn the fucking apartment down with our shitty microwave and my heating pad. I was being fucking smart about how I was doing things and she came out and bitched and yelled at me for using the microwave. So now I’m pissed off and crying in my room because I can’t have any sort of fucking pain relief. I’ve already taken the max amount of Tylenol and ibuprofen it’s not working and I don’t have anything stronger. I know nobody fucking cares and I’m just going to be told “get a new roommate” “move out” “stand up to her” “take up for yourself” and so on. Here’s the thing, I work at a retail store and only work 20 hrs a week. I can’t afford to move out. I barely fucking make rent as is, I do stand up for myself but it literally makes things worse and then my boyfriend and I fight because of her and I’m over that. (We end up fighting because he gets caught in the middle of us and tries to make us both happy and that’s not possible apparently) I can’t “get a new roommate” we’re all on the apartment together and none of us can afford to leave. I’ve been trying to leave this apartment for a year. There’s nothing where I live that’s cheaper than where we’re at and boyfriend doesn’t want to move again just yet. I’m at a stand still and can’t get out. My roommate has made it to where my mental health is rock bottom. I’ve never been this bad even when I was with my abusive ex husband. I don’t know what else to do other than rant and bitch on here. I just want to give up. Fighting just makes everything worse and I’m clearly a burden on the world. I just don’t have anything left to give. My teeth make me want to drill a hole in my head. And my roommate makes me want to get hit by a semi.. sorry if you read all of this and waisted you time...