Suicide and Edibles

So today is Saturday...

The day was last week Friday and I was felling super down and depressed and I was .2 seconds away from popping enough pills for an elephant.

I cried and yelled and pulled myself out of that dark spot just enough to come up for air but I was still pretty down

That (Friday)night my ex boyfriend AKA my current friend with benefits came over and we had a shitty conversation about or past. Didn’t help with the mood I was in earlier. He slept over and I cried myself to sleep.

I slept all saturday and Sunday.

Tuesday I randomly got the overwhelming feeling to cut him off and I no longer had any feeling or love for him. I thought I was free of my emotions and was finally thinking with my head...

I bough a weed brownie for the first time on Friday (yesterday) because I just wanted to disappear for a little while. I ate 1/3 of a bread pan of weed brownie.

I was. TRIPPING!

I just woke up - I went to the hospital because I was having seizures and I was having out of body experiences. I thought I was dying.

Can someone just help me out here. Just words of encouragement or something. I don’t have friends and my family is distant and abusive.