Should it be this hard?

I just want to vent and say that I think there is SO much pressure out there to breast feed over formula feed. I understand the benefits, but I feel like I’m going crazy.

My baby girl just can’t seem to get the latch down, so I have been pumping and giving her breast milk for most of this week since my supply has come in (she is 10 days old). And I am EXHAUSTED. My life revolves around my breast pump. Literally. Every three hours I’m on it for 20 minutes, plus another 10 to clean the parts and store the milk, then it’s only another 2.5 hours until I do it all again. Nights are awful because it takes me forever to fall back asleep, so who knows how much sleep I’m actually getting.

I struggle with depression as it is, and today hit me so hard that I just feel full of frustration and resentment and I’m scared that this is going to develop into full blown PPD if I don’t find a solution. I hate that I can’t feel fully in tune with my baby because I just feel like a milk machine. I hate that there’s so much pressure on me (mostly from myself) to produce, produce, produce. I just want to switch to formula and be done, but I don’t want to feel like a quitter or that I’m not doing the most beneficial thing for my baby girl.

I really don’t want this to become a huge “formula vs. breast milk” debate, but I just need some advice desperately