Please somebody help me decide 😢

July 2019 I had a baby boy

January 2020 I found out I was pregnant

March 2020 at the first ultrasound, we found out it was twins

August 2020, my twins were born

I've just found out today, that I am pregnant again 😔 after using contraceptives too. I cannot mentally and physically carry and have another baby, I mean I could, but I would be a shell of the woman I once was and I already have 3 babies to care for.

If I choose to have this baby, it will be due July 2021, which means when they are born, I will have 4 children under 2.

Or worse, it could be twins as I carry the gene, so I could have 5 children under 2.

I love my children with all my heart and so does their father. I am in a very loving relationship, we own a house, due to be married, but this is all too much.

A large percentage of me wants to keep this baby bc I absolutely love being a Mum, I just love my children so much and I feel like aborting this one would be me turning my back on one of my children.

Everyone I know will be so ashamed of us and especially me as they know it would have been my decision.

Financially we will be okay, we would have to give up on the dream of emigrating to the Emirates to teach and they wouldn't put 4 children through school for us.

There is just so much going through my head and I just need someone to talk to me 😞