Feeling alone and I need to vent 🥺

A little background on me and my little family. I’m a new mommy my daughter is 4 months old. I’ve been with my boyfriend for about 11 years we’re high school sweethearts 🥰… we got so excited of us being new parents. We knew it wasn’t going to be easy at first and the plan was for me to be home with baby for the first two months then go back to work. It’s much more easier said than done. My daughter ended up having some bad constipation and bad gas pains that she would scream bloody murder so I’ve decided to stay at home with her and my boyfriends boss offered me a job to work from home helping with invoices. My boyfriend works landscaping.

Here’s where I need to vent I want to say about a week and a half before our daughter was born my boyfriend finally decided to go get checked out bc he all of sudden lost 20lbs so fast. My mom even pointed it out like you gotta make sure nothings wrong so he went I went with him but I stayed in the car. I kept asking what’s wrong why you taking so long he finally answers me “I have diabetes and I need to go to the ER right away” me pregnant I start crying and freaking out omg like what’s gonna happen are you gonna be ok? Thank god he’s ok he just has to live with the fact that he’s diabetic now and because of this he changed his lifestyle completely no sodas, candies not eating out so much all cooked meals etc. He’s made such an improvement on his glucose levels but he’s still afraid and I get that! So lately for the past two weeks when he gets out from work he goes play soccer (big soccer player) I’ve been feeling like he’s missing out on all the little things our daughter has been doing like trying to roll over being so like talkative smiling. He leaves the house 6:30 and if he goes plays won’t come home until 9pm I barley see him and he barley spends time with our daughter sometimes it makes me feel so alone and like I need break sometimes too but I can’t because who’s gonna watch her no body but me and I feel like I say something he might take it the wrong way or maybe I’m being selfish but because he has diabetes sometimes I feel like he wants to put his health first idk what to do sometimes I feel like telling him look maybe we shouldn’t be in a relationship we barley spend time together and if I see him I’d rather he spend it with our daughter. Idk am I being selfish for wanting him to spend more time with us even though he has diabetes and wants to better his health 🥺