Leaving the boys home

Honestly... I'm gonna cry typing this... I was not always a good person. I have a husband and son I walked out on 6 years ago. My son was only 9 at the time. I did drugs, went to jail. I was homeless and honestly should have died like 3 times. I was living with a cousin and needed a job. There was an opening for a mentor/RA at this home for troubled kids. It was a facility and boys and girls were separated. They needed someone for the boys side because they always quit. They had trouble keeping staff on that side. And I see why. Those boys were ruthless. Violent. Some were addicts. This place was for kids 14-17. These boys.... Changed me....I developed a close relationship with all of them. They started calling me Mama Darla. I learned that a lot of them had experienced some type of physical or sexual abuse. It honestly opened my eyes about male sexual abuse. My boss said since I started working there 3x as many boys were getting released to go home. A lot of boys never change and stay there until 18 then end up getting arrested. Boys were now getting released home. Well... These boys also helped me. They taught me about being a better mother and person... I reached out to my son and husband and apologized. The last couple years I spent trying to make things right. I spent the summer with them. My son is 15 now. And we've developed a relationship.... In September my husband says he wants to try again at a relationship and wants me to move home. I feel ready. I've been with this boys home 4 years and over time these boys taught me how to be a better mother and person. Specifically one boy. He would never get to go home because both his parents are in prison. He actually spent Christmas with my family and I'm gonna be fostering him so he's coming with me to my son and husband's (they get along great). Now telling the facility I was leaving was hard. Even though I worked primarily with the boys there were times I was put on the girls side. The girls took it well and we all hugged. My boys though.... They cried. We all cried. The congratulated my new foster son on getting a family and one of my boys said "So if we act up again you won't leave?" We laughed. Friday was my last day with them and they gave me a book with a letter from each of them. I picked my replacement and I'm coming back to train her in November to make sure she takes care of my boys. My foster son and bio son act like brothers and me and my husband are stronger than ever. Those boys saved me... Those were the toughest and best 4 years of my life.