When you have completely different views and beliefs in dealing with money and debt and spending habits?

11 years married. 3 kids.

I have always been primary breadwinner (NOT pulling rank, just stating facts), and supported husband through it all: when he was unemployed, went through graduate school, paid for our wedding. took a loan out against the equity on our home to finance his opening up his own business, paid down so much of his credit card debt (that he accrued way before he met me).

In a marriage, I don’t believe it’s “my” money or “his” money, it is OUR money no matter who earns more, etc.

Where we run into issues is, as the years pass, he has basically started to rely on me to just simply keep paying for everything. He has a problem with credit cards. At one point he racked up $50k (that I know of) in credit card debt. I pay down. He says he won’t use them anymore. Find out a year later he has always been using it.

Fyi, we have never had a joint account. The plan had always been that once he was able to start his business, he would become primary breadwinner and I could focus on kids. 11 years later, nothing.

I could write more to explain how we deal with money, but it’ll be too long. In short, it causes me so much stress and anxiety.

I am considering just being done with the marriage and walking away. Don’t love him any less. But I feel like I’ve done nothing but drown in his debt. No cheating issues. He’s a good dad. But we live like roommates (there’s clearly more here, but again just focusing on the money and debt) so I love him, but haven’t felt like I was in love for a long time. Thoughts and feedback welcome if you’ve experienced something similar.