Kids and Married

For those who aren’t married to their children’s parent how does it work in your household? Who does the cleaning,cooking,fair share in the house. My husband has always kept his house in order before I met him because it was just him. My kids are slobs who don’t clean up until I yell and im sick of ppl saying that’s just what kids do. If my room wasn’t clean daily as I child my mom would throw my things away,hit me,yell and I don’t want to do that. Im just tired of working then coming home and cleaning. My husband said he is not going to clean up after them because they are old enough to do for themselves. My kids share a room and it is always messy and it smells. My 10yo will have urine soaked clothes in the room or corner until we make him take it downstairs. My youngest will leave food all over the table and floor. Instead of them cleaning up before playing the game they wait until we yell and make them. I can’t keep living like this.