Am I being rude in this message exchange?

Question

This is an exchange between my mom and me.

As you can see, she wants to lose weight. We had talked about it prior on the phone and I said I’d help her create a meal plan. But I want her to help me help her… I can’t make a meal plan for her completely and I want to know which foods and drinks she’s willing to and wanting to cut out/incorporate. I feel like she thinks it will be easy and I’ll just tell her what to eat, but the hard part has to come from her. That’s why I want her to be involved in this. That’s what I explained to her when I called her after she said this and she did her typical “nevermind. I’ll just do it myself. Forget I ever said anything.” I love my mom, but this behavior gets so exhausting sometimes. I find it to be so childish, but I want to hear other people’s thoughts.

Answer

I think it’s borderline. Asking someone who doesn’t know how to eat in a healthy way won’t know how to answer that question. She wants guidance and to know where to even start. Would it have been too much trouble for you to be specific, like you were in this post? What foods are you willing to cut out, for example, instead of 50 questions she doesn’t know the right answer to. You could be much more clear instead of 747387 three word questions that are just frustrating her because she’s lost. 
If you really want to help and guide her, be clear and concise about what you want to know. She will either do it or not, but obviously she’ll shut down otherwise.

Answer

no you’re not being rude

Answer

“In order to help you come up with a plan, I need to ask you this questions. If you can’t answer them, then I can’t help you. If you expect me to just come up with a plan without your input, then it won’t work.”

Answer

No, not rude at all. I think she was looking for "that's awesome!" and you're being serious asking what her plan is which she may not have one yet or she may think you don't actually think she'll do it so maybe that's why she got irritated. You didn't say anything wrong. She's just being sensitive.

Answer

Just asking for clarification is not rude. I hate when people play 21 questions. This isn’t a riddle. Tell me what I should do if I list my steps or just say you don’t wanna help. Either would suffice

Answer

It wasn’t rude at all the person was being defensive. I’d call out they’re behavior right away. Asking them what is triggering them about your response that’s giving them the impression you’re not helping, is it because you’re saying things they don’t want to hear? Or tell them if they don’t like the help you’re giving them feel free to ask someone else

Answer

You're not being rude, in order to make it happen she needs to have a plan in place, not just a general goal. Saying "I'm going to eat better" accomplishes nothing, you have to have more specific plans like "I'm going to bring a grilled chicken salad to work instead of going for a burger at lunch" or "I'm going to start taking 15 minute walks in the evening" instead of "I'm going to start exercising". It's not playing games, it's having her actually think and plan, not just patting her on the back for saying she wants to lose weight (which could have been what she was looking for, congratulations without actually doing anything).

Am I being rude in this message exchange?

Let’s Glow

Glow is here for you on your path to pregnancy

25+ million

4.8 stars

20+

Getting Pregnant

Pregnancy

1st Year (Baby & You)

Baby Products