Boyfriends kinks and my confusion with myself!!!

Julesssss

My boyfriend has a specific kink of choking, specific way its done and everything, I have no problem doing what he likes so we are good there. But I am a jealous person, and I just asked him what are the videos he sees or looks up for said kink or whatever, and normally they are not porn vids because the specific way is not found in porn so its vids more to the public eye, like movies, shows, etc. The thing is we were friends before we were together so we would talk about our kinks, people, our likes, etc; I like knowing more about him but its just a little different now because im with him. For me its not the same if he watches porn like everyone does, compared to maybe getting off to scenes of shows or movies we might watch. He knows im jealous and was very firm about not telling me because he didn’t know how i was going to feel, so I know its my fault for pressuring him to tell me what he looks, but now im just wondering how much he would prefer those maybe instead of me or does he get turned from another girl infront of me when we watch something? Its just a little confused on how i should handle the way i feel about it, cause it did hurt somewhat but i asked for it.