What bothers me....

So my dad was living her in San Jose ca and met my mom. Well he had a wife back in Mexico. My mom believed his lies about him leaving his wife when the truth was he came her to save money  to send his wife to come here for a better life. Well... My mom got pregnant with me. My didn't was here and there for the first 4 years then one 4 th of July day we were all outside bbqing and I hear my mom screaming. My dad packed all his stuff and just left us. My brothers and sisters had to chase me around the neighborhood because I didn't want him to leave. He left... I talk to him here and there. My mom told me that he was mean to me but honestly I don't remember. Well at age 13 my dads son contacted me through fb and I would sneak to see them. The first couple years my dad seemed intrested to get to know me but then it slowly stopped. Visits were less and I had to do everything between take a train to see him and calling him. Well I'm now married. We haven't talking in three years and he doesn't even try to contact me. It just makes me sad because both parents have hurt me so much. I'm scared to a e kids because I don't know what to tell them when their older. My family is just so disfinctiinal. I wished I loved my parents but I just have so much anger.