Pulled the plug

I don’t know where else to put this but I want to talk about it so here you go. I was with my boyfriend for 6 months, which isn’t that long of a time generally but in families like mine engagements usually happen within a year and our relationship was pretty serious. We’d talked long term, marriage, kids, all of that. If a month ago you would have asked me if he’d be the man I’d marry, I wouldn’t have hesitated to say yes. I loved him and I was willing to put his needs first because I was taught that love is about selflessness and compromise, and I still believe that. The majority of our relationship involved me living about a 2 hours drive away from him while we both went to school and worked, so we had our own social lives but we always made time for each other. Eventually, life got busy. I had finals, I was moving, and my sister was trying to pull together a nice wedding in a month because she’s pregnant. Despite all of that I made time to talk to him every day. But when I was going through all of that stress, he went practically radio silent. The weekend of the wedding and the move, he went to Stagecoach (a big country music festival similar to Coachella) and didn’t talk to me all weekend. After getting through that it hit me just how absent he had been in our relationship. The only reason we spoke or hung out after the first month of being together, barring special occasions, was because I initiated. I would drive down on weekends to spend a couple hours with him and he couldn’t manage to talk on the phone with me for 5 minutes on days we didn’t get to see each other. No one is that busy. So when he got back and we settled into life living closer to each other and he was still too busy, I confronted him. I told him that if he really wants this to be a serious relationship he needs to put effort into me, it can’t be one sided. He admitted that I’d been doing everything but said that he’s just busy and he can’t commit to seeing me even one day a week (even though he hangs out with friends at least 3 days a week). He said he had too much on his plate, so I said I’ll take myself off of it. I left. I’ve cried, I’ve had some drinks, I’ve laughed about it, I’ve celebrated with my friends who saw how exhausted our relationship was making me, and I’ve cried some more, but I haven’t regretted breaking up with him for a second. I still love him, and this weekend I was at the bar where we met and I saw him hanging all over some random girl, and it hurt. I had a nightmare about him last night, but I do not regret walking away from an unhappy, unhealthy relationship because I know my value and I’m proud of myself. If you made it this far thanks for reading, and I hope all of you lovely ladies keep this stuff in mind. I have never felt stronger than I did when I pulled the plug. It sucks but I’m proud of myself, and I wanted to share. And I added some pictures of my post-breakup glowup as I’ve spent time learning how to do my makeup and getting ready for a fitness photoshoot I have coming up