😬Anxiety inducing OB/GYN😬


First of all,👋 hi ladies! So, I’m currently 13weeks and 5days pregnant! Yay!! So, I’ve started going to an Ob/Gyn regularly again, I’m currently on my third Ob/Gyn for my third pregnancy. 🤦🏼‍♀️ My first Ob/Gyn was amazing until my first started to show that he was going to be a big baby, then she started getting persistent on a scheduled c-section which she knew I didn’t want. She started get cold with me after I told her that I’d rather try and end up having an emergency c-section then to have a c-section and never have known whether or not I could do it. I ended up having my 9lb 7.4oz baby vaginally with minor tearing and when I found out I was pregnant I asked to switch to her partner Ob/Gyn, she was understanding enough to sign me over to her partner.(I felt a little guilty, but after talking to a few others I really wanted to go with her partner) I never did get to see that Ob/Gyn because only 2 short weeks after I set everything up I had a miscarriage. When I saw those two little pink lines a few months after my miscarriage I wasn’t nervous at all about who I’d see because I already knew it would be the second Ob/Gyn, but when I called to make an appointment I was told she was leaving within a few months and she wasn’t taking on any more pregnancies at the moment. 😫 I started to get anxious. I hate calling around and trying to meet Drs, I hate talking to people in general and a medical degree for me is scary rather than comforting for some reason. I finally found someone after a couple weeks and established with her(my current Ob/Gyn) I was really excited, she addressed all of my concerns, she is a huge supporter of natural births if you can, and by the end of my first appointment she had given me some “homework.” She asked me to get established with a dermatologist and a psychiatrist, this was exciting for me because to me it meant she cared enough to know I needed to get both and she was going to encourage it. In my past I have dealt with anxiety, depression, and most likely a few undiagnosed mental illnesses, I have been to a couple counselors, but have never seen a psychiatrist for a proper diagnosis and treatment plan. My mother set up the counselors when I was younger and made me go, now that I’m an adult just the thought of having to establish with a psychiatrist is nerve wracking. I have to put everything out there, explain all of my past, and try to make a connection, so I don’t feel so horrible and terrified going. I’ve known since I turned 18 that I need to go out and do this, but my anxiety and fears of opening up or worse what they’ll tell me has been holding me back. It’s been a constant battle between the daily anxiety and depression that tear at my relationship/myself/work life and the anxiety of getting help. Today, was my second appointment since promising my Ob/Gyn that I would seek help and... I still haven’t sought out help. I’ve looked online(obsessively) convinced I’d make the move, but I can’t make myself do it. I just can’t. Now at this point my Ob/Gyn makes it sooo much worse, “If you don’t establish and start seeing a psychiatrist, I cannot be your Dr.” I was devastated, I finally found a Dr I liked and now she’s threatening not to see me anymore over something that that terrifies me. I sat there on the verge of crying, having a silent anxiety attack and forced out, “okay.” And then she continued to ask questions leaving that to soak... “I see you talked to the nurse about wanting to be induced?” I again forced my words out, “yes, maybe May 4th after I’m 39weeks”

Her: “why?”

Me: “My mother lives hours away and to be honest, i know it’s really stupid, but I’d like to have my baby on May 4th because of Starwars day...”

Her: “I won’t do an elective induction, I never have. There’s a greater chance of c-section after inducing. If there’s even a small part of you that might want induction once you start getting around the 38 week mark switch drs now because once your that far along it’s almost impossible to establish with a new dr and if that’s what you want I won’t be your Dr.”

Me: “okay, I don’t want to increase the risk of c-section, so I don’t want an elective induction.”

Her: reacts almost everything above “...I won’t be your dr if that’s what you want even a small part of you.”

I understand why she wants me to go to a psychiatrist, but can she say she won’t be my dr if I don’t seek out a psychiatrist? And why does she have to be so forceful?

I understand her views on induction and made it clear it wasn’t what I wanted, why does she still threaten to not be my dr? If you know a patient suffers with anxiety, why isn’t the world would you overwhelm them with so much?

After she finished my exams and I was alone in the room I broke down in tears. After overcoming so many barriers just to make to this point, she is forcing me to jump off the cliff of my anxiety and figure it or else it’s all just going to be worse. I went out to the waiting room(where my husband and son were waiting) made the appointments I was supposed to make and then as my husband and I walked out the door I started venting. He wasn’t pleased at all to hear that she had said those things and made me feel the way she had.

What do you guys think? Have you been in a similar situation? What would you do?

Sorry this is soo long! 😐