Help me please

LONG STORY!!!!!! Okay so I’m in need of some advice (:

My boyfriend and I are both 18 years old, live together and have a five month old daughter. In the begining, what we had was so much different than anything we both experienced. Then...we found out i was pregnant around our 7th-8th month of being together, I also found out He had been texting another girl for about two weeks. Devastation hit me and i dont think i was ever quite the same. He “tried” everything to prove that he just needed attention (because i just got a f**** job and was focusing on that?) Fast forward to me around 4-5 months pregnant, i go through his phone only to find that “Kik” was in his play store history, i also found emails from back when the first time had happened, the emails were supposed to be sent to girls in his area and he was asking if they were down to talk or whatever. 🙄

So let me tell you guys some stuff first,

I was badly hurt but being that i was pregnant and the things that he had done to me already, i had a “f you” attitude towards him ALOT.

He wanted attention, I never gave it.

He wanted me to listen, i never did.

And i will completely take blame for my part.

So fast forward to just about a few weeks ago, He tells me he cant focus on a relationship and needs to focus on himself.

Now let me add in, i had no idea where he was coming from, i was blind sided and from the past, i was scared.

We fought, and fought. Said nasty nasty things. I even spit on him (disgusting I know but i didnt give a crap at the moment), so we officially split up.

Then I find out about her.

I had a gut feeling from the moment they worked together.

Now, I have no proof if they talked before we split up but he says they didnt 🤷🏼‍♀️, Ive seen her stare at him, ive seen the way she talks to him, it makes me sick.

Well, exactly a year from the date of last years incident, i find out he kissed her after our fight and they were flirting and texting, he downloaded snapchat and instagram and was STILL hiding it from me. Now ladies, i get we broke up but its the fact that he LITERALLY LOOKED AT ME, LOOKED AT HIS PHONE, LOOKED AT ME AGAIN AND WENT ON INSTAGRAM LIKE WTF!!! Why even hide it? Like that makes you look worse.

So i confront him that i seen it and he plays the “i dont care” crap and i get upset and we fight, again.

BTW HE WAS STILL SLEEPING IN MY BED DURING ALL THIS!!!!

Sooooooo...

Now that i have proof that hes not innocent, i get to talking to people, changed my stuff on facebook and im vibing to s***, feelin myself, you know😏

Few days past, I started seeing hints of him looking sad, i found him sitting on my bed staring at the ground one night. At this point, we were on talking terms but nothing more than stuff I HAD to say to him. I acted like i didnt give a crap about him. Meanwhile, hes still in my house. (Yes i told him to get out but he has no where so he was allowed to stay but he had other offers to go somewhere but he wouldnt. )

So of course, when im doing good and getting better about the break up, we get a snow storm, hes at work and has no ride🙄🙄🙄 so i have to pick him up, well needless to say we were stuck in the car together for 2 hours straight. We end up talking things out and starting to work through things. Everything is fine and im just waiting for him to ask me back out again ig🙄....he thinks.

So I seen his phone had an email come up, and it was from Tinder, (whatdoyaknow?🤷🏼‍♀️🙄🙄😩), plus i caught him watching porn the other morning (we had sex just about every night and hes a big porn watcher which makes me extremely insecure with the events that have occurred and im literally giving him everything he asks for sexually). Although, he does keep his phone completely open to me. He has told me i can go on it recently. His password is the same as its always been so i seriously dont think anythings going on, or he got good at hiding it within a few days (not likely).

So heres where I need some advice..

At this point, I dont know where my feelings stand, im extremely hurt and when i look at him, im not even sure if i still see someone i wanna be with.. i love him to death but being parnoid all the time is tiring and i personally feel like this is all bs.

•Have you gone through something like this?

•Do you think I’m just hurt and numb because of the eventts and i need to get over it or do you think i should leave?

Just please help me make sense of it all... I’m so lost and I cant handle it...

Btw please no hate, im not dumb, i just need advice. Im torn between showing my daughter that i left because of self love, respect, and worth or do i show her that I fought/fight for our family no matter what? 😭😭