I really just can’t 😭😢

Tomorrow, Christmas eve, I was supposed to meet you. But god had other plans. This Christmas I was supposed to hug you and hold you and count all your little toes and fingers. But god had other plans for you. I know you’re happy, giggling, and celebrating with your great great grandma and grandpa. It hurts so bad that I can’t see you or feel you or hold you or listen to your cries. I don’t know why god took you away from me, but he had other plans. Your souls was too good for earth, your smile would have outshined the sun, your presence would have brought me peace, but god had other plans for you. I know you’re up there watching, smiling down at your mommy. And baby, mommy knows, I feel you every time my eyes close. I want more than anything in the world to meet you tomorrow but I know I can not. You were supposed to be my Christmas gift, my Christmas baby, the only thing I was looking forward to this year. And I don’t have you anymore. You were only 10 weeks when I lost you, not many people knew. I’m sorry I couldn’t carry you, I’m sorry I couldn’t meet you, I’m sorry your first Christmas has to be away from me. But we will meet again one day. I love you baby 😭 merry Christmas eves eve in heaven, mommy’s always thinks about you every day and night. 😭💕❤️