Random thoughts

So I keep randomly waking up thinking how i don’t want to get married. And I have dated a few guys...and had a crazy amount of flings 🤪 I just feel like idk things are really good in my life and I feel like whenever i get into relationships guys get so intense and in lovey and whatnot I will like it for a bit then get bored. And sometimes I do want a boyfriend but no one interests me At All!!! Most guys are so meh to me...I don’t feel like they are that interesting and the ones that are are clingy and I don’t get physically attracted to people really that often... the last dude I dated was based on personality not a real physical allure. Which ultimately meant that the relationship died when things got tough... like the last guy that I almost was supposed to marry —besttt guy ever. But I didn’t feel enough physical attraction toward him and I knew that but hoped it would build. Unfortunately as you know it didn’t. 😔 so when things got hard I dropped it like it’s hot...i realized that physical attraction is so important from that situation as that separates your guy friends from your boyfriend...once I even called him bro 😨 hahahahah he did not like that ofc.

Am I destined to be alone? Haha I know I am young (26) but yeah just sorta need to rant to get it off my chest. I feel like whoever I meet eventually I lose interest and just want to go back to my solitude ...the weirdest part is I am really outgoing and love meeting new people and traveling and everything ... maybe I just haven’t met the right guy. Last year I even got engaged in this whirlwind romance but realized I couldn’t see myself with long term... he was a really nice guy but I kept waking up thinking I’m not in love anymore and was just done...I got a crazy high fever when I was sick and he tried to take care of me but it just kept getting worse 😱 idk what y’all think? Anyone else thoughts this before? Like the first thing I think when I wake up is “I don’t want a boyfriend” and sometimes “I don’t want to get married”...