Struggling with SO?

Question

Every one is always praising every stupid thing a daddy does. And have lots of consideration when he wants to go out. 
Parenthood is such an unbalanced thing. 
My Husband is a great dad though, but still no where near the mom I am. 
Lately he wants to do a lot of things, with friends and going out. I feel so bitter and hate him a little given that I am 13 weeks PP. But for some reason I’m being dramatic for feeling in discomfort about this. 
Anyone having a situation like this? 
I just feel so exhausted and he never misses any fun. I miss it all. 
Just wished he could see through my eyes.

Accepted Answer

Everyone praises every little positive thing a man does because the bar is set so low for them that basic, BARE MINIMUM things are treated as if they are above and beyond. I always love when women say things like omg my husband does the dishes sometimes and helps with the baby and changes diapers what a keeper. 
Like wow karen your husband is doing shit hes supposed to do as an adult and parent congratulations. 
Idk. 
Id be as absolutely direct, and dare i say, bitchy, as i could be. 
"Look ho. You are no longer a single care free person.without more important obligations so stop acting like your fucking homboys are a priority and get the fuck home and act like a parent and spouce you fucking child. "
But then again. Im outta pocket asf.

Answer

I have a flight coming up and have been researching tips and hacks for flying with a baby. You will never guess one of them! So the tip is that if your baby is crying have your partner carry the baby around the plane. If other passengers see a mom carrying a crying baby they are annoyed and think the mom is terrible for not controlling her little one. If they see the dad carry the baby they are sympathetic and appreciate the dads efforts. It’s crazy but true! 😂

Answer

Well first off, it'll help if you get your head out of your butt and stop acting like you're better than him. You're not. And the more you think you're above him, the longer you'll feel this way. Second, if you want to go out then make the plans and do it. I've never once felt like I was missing out on anything and neither has my husband. At 3 days postpartum, I left our daughter home to go have a cup of coffee with a friend who was in town. A couple of weeks later, I went out for drinks with friends and maybe a week after that, I had a beach day. I do things on my own every single week as does my husband. If that's a priority to you, then make it a priority rather than complaining that he's doing what you want to be doing. Third, if you need more from him, then you need to put on your big girl panties and communicate with him rather than coming to an online forum to complain about him. That gets you nowhere. Parenthood isn't "unbalanced" unless you make it that way. My husband is an amazing father and husband and I will absolutely praise him for everything he does because that's what he deserves. Just like he praises me when I'm doing a great job. We're a team and we treat each other as equals 🤷🏻‍♀️

Answer

Omg yes! His grandmother won’t shut up about how a great man and amazing father he is because he holds the baby while I cook and clean, after taking care of the baby all day by myself. He changes max two diapers and feeds the baby once before going back to work. Dads get medals for the smallest, low bar ass shit tbh.

Answer

Seriously I am so bitter that my husband never seems to consider or worry about what to do with the baby. It's just always assumed that I will handle it. He never has to worry about finding someone to watch him, getting ready to go out while holding a baby, or timing even quick outings around baby's schedule - that's all in me.

Answer

Yeah, my husband gets a round of applause for going into the soft play with our daughter but it’s an adult sized soft play so he’s literally getting praise for playing on slides. It’s insanity. I’ve learned not to get mad about it and just make sure he does half of everything when he’s home and he knows the praise he gets from outsiders is weird and unfair so at least he doesn’t get a big head.

Answer

Yes. Everyone is having a situation like this. My husband and I have had the same issues. And I read several posts every day about this. I wish I had advice but at least you’re not alone. 
When I was about 6 weeks post c-section my husband wanted to go camping 🤨

Answer

With you all the way!  It’s like what the heck!  I would’ve thought again about this if I knew I was doing it on my own.   But it does get easier at some point at least.  Tell your spouse how you feel.

Answer

I went through this after each child with my husband. My husband works 6 days a week, but all of his free time goes to playing video games or hanging out with his buddies. It never really bugged me, because he would still spend a bit of time with me, but once we had our first, I was like really? I need sleep. He never got up with him overnight because of his job, he worked late every day and then came home to play video games. The few pictures I have of him with my kids as babies are of him holding them while he’s playing video games, or forced pictures I got on holidays. He’s a fantastic dad now, he’s just not into the newborn phase, which is pretty hard to do on your own. Definitely try communicating with him, or just tell him you have plans and you need him to stay with the baby and go have some you time. You deserve it!

Answer

I seriously thought i was the only one going through this everything falls on to us moms sucks how he can go to sleep with no wrroies or how he can wake up and the first thing he thinks about is himself my whole world revolves around my kids i wake up and i gotta make sure my kids are changed and fed i mean everything i get told i take my sweet time getti g ready beacuse not only do i have to get the diaper bag ready lots of essential s needed i have to make surre i dont foregt anything i have to chase around a 2 year old to change him and yes it takes me more then 10 minutes to change him and then i gotta get my 7 months old ready by the time i get my kids ready im exhausted and barely even want to get my self ready im sorry i constantly look like shit while my boyfriend sits around complaing on how long it takes us to get out of the house dread going out anywhere complains on how i never want to do anything and its because everywhere we go  i have to deal with the kids we go to a park a store anywhere and if my 2 year old throws a tantrum or decided to run off i have to chase after him while holding our 7 month old he just men have it easy all the way around its frustrating 😒

Struggling with SO?

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