Family visiting and causing stress! HELP!il

I’m sorry this is a bit long, but I need advise! So our baby girl is 6 weeks old. Last week my family came in from out of state and are staying with us to meet her.

My parents came first. Our relationship has been strained the last couple years due to some various reasons, but we are working on it. While trying to take care of our colicky baby girl, I had to make dinner for all 4 of us 3 nights in a row (DH was on a long shift that week). They did help me cook, but my feeling is that I shouldn’t have to cook every night. I have a newborn, I need help with things like cooking! Now I am so appreciative for them doing things like going to the store for a few things and after I said something about cooking, they cooked one night.

After a few days my sister, her husband, and their 1 year old came (my parents stayed a few more days while my sister was here). Now they have extremely different levels of cleanliness. While I understand he’s 1 and is not neat, they wouldn’t clean up after him!!!

For example

1. They would give him crackers/other snacks (even deli meat, which he dropped all over the floor and I had to pick up!) and let him walk around and left crumbs all over- they wouldn’t pick it up so I would have to.

2. They leave their stuff everywhere! Like food packages on the counter, dishes in the sink, bags on the tables, sweaters over chairs, toys all over the house (yes, I know he needs toys, but when he’s done playing with something or they go to another room they leave all his toys around the house... on the kitchen floor, on the stairs, on my dining table, in the walkways, etc... so my house looks like a tornado happened) so who’s picks up after him? Me.

3. My parents insisted that they buy us a baby gate for our stairs for my nephew. Okay I understand, you want him to be safe, but you are a guest in my home and should watch him. I let them buy a gate to put up temporarily. But when my sister arrived she went out and bought permanent adhesive corner bumpers for my coffee table and wanted to put them on my tables. I said absolutely not.

WHY SHOULD I HAVE TO BABY PRROF MY HOUSE FOR YOU TO VISIT? My daughter is only 6 weeks old and is a long way from us needing to baby proof. You are only staying for a few days!!

4. DH noticed when he went for a drink one night that our liquor bottles had

been moved, now we don’t mind, of course have a drink, but there was a lot gone. Then DH found an empty 5th of vodka in our garage (we don’t drink vodka). We figured out that my BIL was drinking... like finished a 5th and some of our liquor in just a couple days. Which is concerning. I haven’t said anything to my sister yet. I don’t know how to navigate that one.

5. They are not helping with anything. I know they need to take care of their son, but they have done practically nothing for us other than holding her for a few minutes. I know that’s helpful at times, but I need help with my house, not necessarily her. I don’t have time for loads of laundry, cooking, cleaning, etc...

Now, they did pay for our lunch when we went out one day.

6. Also, I’m breastfeeding. I’ve told my whole family I’m not comfortable breastfeeding in front of people and my daughter freaks out with covers. So that means i go into our room to feed her every 2.5-3 hours. Both my mom and my sister have waltzed in and stood right there and tried chatting while I rush to cover myself. Not a huge deal, but I still feel like if I said I’m not comfortable with my boob out in front of you, that means don’t come in.

I told my parents that the mess and cluttered was making my anxiety skyrocket and that I needed it cleaned up, thankfully they stepped up and helped, but when they left after a few days and my sisters family was here alone- it all fell to me again. They are fending for themselves for meals, which I appreciate that I didn’t have to cook for everyone, but it also meant DH and I had to fend for ourselves too. Which is hard to do when leftovers are gone. Normally DH would cook or watch our baby if I cooked. But with his late hours this week he wasn’t getting home until 7.

I need advice! How do I handle all this and deal with the chaos?! I just feel so overwhelmed and DH is miserable. I don’t know what to do and how to make this better? I love them so much, but I feel like they are being inconsiderate and causing my anxiety to skyrocket. Which it’s already high enough with our baby girls colic😭😭😭 please help me!

Answers to replies:

My sisters family leaves today!🙌🏼