Help 🆘🆘

Long post ahead ❗️❗️

So since may 2019 me And my husband have been having issues since then we have split up 3 times and come back together to try to make it work. He has left willingly every time though. This time we have been back together a little over a month. I keep worrying that it’s going to happens again (I’m a worrier anyways) i have even asked him “r u going to leave me?” He always says “no.” But In The past week at least maybe week and a half I have just felt off like half of me thinks it can work the other half doesn’t and then I have thoughts that’s like why keep dragging this out I mean I ask him if he’s happy or if he wants to be with me he says yes but I just don’t feel it honestly.. I know relationships aren’t all about sex or attention but their is none of that either he’s always to tired or not in the mood. Legit I can’t even touch him even if I ask their is an excuse why I can or I get made fell bad even for a simple hug or kiss.. regardless to if he does have testosterone issues or not it’s not making no since on me being able to to just hug or kiss him. We recently just got back from a vacation fully payed for by my parents but the first day we was their he tried to get my to have sex right out in the open bc we was sleeping in the loft. Open stair case no door. My family was staying in the same cabin. We come home and he uses that on me I just tried and you didn’t want to. Of course I didn’t in front of my family and siblings?! we have been together since 2015, married since may 2017 he knew before I agreed to marry him I wanted kids so so bad . I know right now probably isn’t the best time but just internet so now he has decided he don’t no if he wants kids. That bro my heart when he finally come out and said that. I finally just told him you knew I wanted kids before we got married you said you did too. And I told him that I would have kids even if I had to adopt. I feel horrible for feeling this way or talking about it. I just idk what to do. I love him and want it to work but I don’t want to hurt or hurt him. . ❗️❗️