I am irritated. Would you be?

Question

Last night’s conversation before bed...
Husband: Please make sure I get up for work tomorrow. I have a feeling I won’t want to go after 4 days off.
Me: Okay, I will, but I feel like you will fight me on it and just say how much leave you have. 
Husband: I am saving my leave so I can double-dip for as long as possible when I get deployed.
Me: Okay, I will be sure to get you up. 
This morning, 06:05, his alarm goes off...
Me: *Get up, make his lunch, get coffee, relax before baby wakes up.*
At 06:30 I realize he isn’t up...
Me: You need to get up for work, babe. It’s 06:30.
Husband: I took off.
Me: What? You did what? When did you take off? You told me to make sure you got up!
Husband: This morning. I texted to take off this morning. 
Me: So I got up for no reason at 06:00? Made your lunch for no reason? Now I am up for the day. You are just going to lay around the house being a grouch all day. 
Husband: No I won’t.
Me: I don’t get days off, so it must be nice. 
And then I left the room.
I am annoyed. He complained all day yesterday about how miserable his weekend was and how he didn’t get to do anything he wanted to do. He literally sat on the couch watching Netflix and buying comics on EBay! I mean, he chose to do that. We did spend some time as a family, so I felt offended that apparently that is miserable for him. He spent a long time going through old baseball and basketball cards and seeing if they had value. I even helped for two hours. Then he was just complaining that they are worthless and he had wasted so much time going through them. 
I would LOVE to sit on the couch all day and do nothing. If that is misery, I want it. Instead, I spend my days cleaning the house, running errands, feeding our child, playing with our child, caring for her. Sigh. 
So now, it’s 06:45 and I am sitting here awake for the day. My daughter will wake at 7. I could have had at least another 45 minutes of sleep. He will sleep until 9:00 and then wake and request breakfast. Must be nice. 😡
Edit: He is POTENTIALLY deploying next October.

Answer

He’s not a child. He needs to be responsible of getting himself up. I’d tell him since he’s off he can cook you breakfast.

Answer

Give him the lunch you packed when he asks for breakfast!

Answer

Why on earth do you let him treat you like a servant? If my husband is off he is getting up with the baby with me. Hes had 4 days off he can wake up like an adult and help his family. I would be so turned off.

Answer

My husband used to be the same, now I tell him I'm not his mother and if he wants to be woken up, set an alarm.
If I happen to still be in bed when it goes off I just push him out of bed.

Answer

Honestly not really, we both work so I wouldn’t be up for “no reason”
I also make our lunches everyday so it’s not much of a hassle.
There have been a time or so that he called off as well and stayed home and I went to work.
I don’t see much wrong here and saw a lot of YOU, YOu, YOU and I’ve noticed that you don’t seem to be happy for some reason. 
Why is that, the root is deeper than him calling off work.

Answer

I wouldn’t be doing things for him today. He can get his own breakfast and lunch, he took the day off. 
I would be really annoyed especially because you called it the night before, he would call in. 
Since he’s off, maybe you can get some me time in and he can spend quality time with your child. He’s deploying soon so this is very important too! Do something for you today!

Answer

When it’s deploy time, field, or mission time my husband likes to do his own thing; sleep and find any reason not to go outside. I don’t think your husband is doing anything out of spite but rather trying to cope with having to leave. My husband does it. My best friends’ husbands do it, when they have to deploy they nag and throw fits. Maybe him saying that he didn’t have a good weekend wasn’t a slap in the face it could have been more of “this wasn’t enough time”. We all get groggy and grouchy. Talk to him

Answer

I understand your frustration.... but.... you mentioned that he’ll be deploying? If he’s preparing to head off I would let this go.... given the conditions in which he may be in once deployed, I would be (and did. My husband just got back) encouraging him to do what he wants (within reason) as often as possible. Good luck 😊

I am irritated. Would you be?

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