My Future

I get so scared to think about my future.. I’m only 15, but I hate school. I’m horrible at it and nothing sounds worse to me than being in a building with immature people for 7 hours a day, five days a week. Education is a privilege and I’m appreciative but it’s not for me. I can’t imagine what it’s like to have to grow up. I wish I still felt like a kid. I’m so scared of growing up because the world seems so scary. Kids my age are thinking about what college they want to go to, what career path they would like to follow, etc. I have no clue, unlike my peers. I am a creative individual and have a love for the arts however I don’t want to do something boring like graphic designs and because my art isn’t anything extraordinary it’s not as if I could make a living. I used to think I loved to write but after this year of Honors English my teacher has completely crushed my love to write with her spiteful words and her lack of faith in my writing ability. She has turned off my interest for writing. Everything I love or I could imagine doing seems to be out of my grasp. Any career I can imagine choosing seems unthinkable. How will I be able to live every day working a job I hate? I can barely handle school, how could I handle a real job? I want to be able to make my family proud but my mental health will surely deteriorate if I’m placed under harsh work force conditions. I may sound like I’m exaggerating however I can I assure you I am not. It feels like my lack of test scores or GPA will hold me back from anything I’d want to even try. I’m only a sophomore and there’s time to change but I find no motivation in such a uninteresting life.