Mental illness & aspergers

So I have (what the title reads) and it scares me cause it pushes people away, obviously the main person I'm scared of losing in my best friend (she is the only one I count on) and my illness sort of made me have a moment where we aint talking at the moment which then gets me more emotional, but I face a battle everyday trying not to cry or trying not to do anything. (which I've never ever done and will never do) but she is the only person I have In my life, I just feel I'm being judged by everyone for what I have.