TRIGGER WARNING ASSAULT/RAPE

Hey everyone, so I have no one else to really talk to about this because I’m not 100% sure what happened and I know it’s a very crazy, and big accusation and it could ruin so many things.

But on Saturday night, I was drinking with my mates. Which consist of a lot of boys, as we all play sport together and some of my girl friends! Anyway, it was all fun, I was drinking quite a bit, but it didn’t quite hit untill I went to town. (clubs)

I don’t remember much or anything after that, I remember lining up to one of my favourite clubs, and everything is to totally blacked out after that, which confuses me because I swear I didn’t drink that much...

anyway, I remember getting in a taxi with a guy that was at the party (super nice, has a girlfriend, isn’t like that) he looked after me towards the end as I must’ve been so hammered. Anyway I don’t remember getting home at all (to the flat we were drinking at) don’t remember walking inside or getting into bed. Anyway, I woke up at about 6:30 am in bed, shoes off pants and everything still on (good) but there was a guy next to me. Which was really confusing, I just remember turning around and he was next to me. I didn’t even know who he was. Anyway I was super flirty (as I am when I’ve been drinking) and he like was touching me, so I made out with him 🤦🏽‍♀️🤦🏽‍♀️ we didn’t have sex or anything, but we were touchy with each other and that was it. After maybe like an hour I realised who tf I was and was sobering up so left the room and went to the lounge to see the boys. As I do, (quite important) there was a random girl there, who was asking where the bathroom is, I was going to show her, I look behind she isn’t there? I think she may have gone into the room I was just in. I open the door and I see that they’re both sleeping in there. I leave, like whatever, weird.

Anyway, now this is where I get quite scared, and confused. First I was quite mad at the boys for letting a guy in the same room as me PASSED OUT DRUNK! Literally I was passed out, don’t remember or recall anything from about 1am to when I woke up at 6:30!

Yesterday I got a message from the guy, who’s bed I was staying in. (He was at a girls) I’m really close with him, known him for a long time. Asking if I fucked the guy in his bed. To which I reply that I did not, and that we only hooked up and that! And then he proceeds to say, bro don’t lie it’s algood just don’t lie. And I’m like.. I’m literally not lying, like we didn’t. The guy was so drunk he couldn’t even get hard, we only made out! Me then he goes to say that he found the Condon in his room, and that it was full, and no one else was in there.

This is when it doesn’t make sense? Because there was no time at all, that we had sex, and he did not ever put a condom on from when I was awake!

So this is what scares me, is what happened between the hours or 3am onwards? Why the fuck is there a filled condom in the room?? I wasn’t sore or anything afterwards, but it doesn’t all add up. What annoys me is that those boys probably wouldn’t even of believed me. But I was in a house full of guys like wtf? Could it of been that girl when she went in the room? Or was it me when I was passed out? Was I drugged and awake? I don’t remember anything. And I don’t know what to do. My guy mate told me not to tell anyone about what he asked me, because it’s a serious accusation and could ruin someone’s life. But I’m like wtf?! But what about me? I just want to get to the bottom of things.