Is switching gyms something you should talk to your significant other about..?

Question

So I have been working out at a YMCA, and back story on when I was trying to join then, it was such a big deal to my husband, and he was telling me I only wanted to workout cause I’m a follower, and that my sister works out so now I want to do it cause of her...
 Which is not true, it was just something that motivated me..
 So now my sister just moved to where I live and they joined a gym called apex, and it has so much more equipment (I just tried it out yesterday) 
And I really liked it! It has childcare like the Y but a bigger childcare area... well I ended up joining that gym, and I was excited to think I’ll be able to workout with my sister and her husband because they really know how to workout.
 Well I get home and tell my husband, and he flips out on me,
 Saying I should have discussed that with him, that I can’t just take skyla to a different childcare, and just it was so bad.
 And he also holds it over my head that a few months ago I had a tik tok, and I had saved a video on my phone that I took of myself just dancing (not sexual) just dancing, and says I just want attention from all the guys, and that at this new gym they’ll be allot of single guys (which by the way he is fine now with the Y cause he knows there’s just old guys) 
And that what I wear is gonna attract them (which I wear the normal leggings and crop top to workout in) 
And he also holds it over my head that I “cheated on him” back in November, when all that it was, was that my best friends ex, who I used to be very good friends with who I’ve always only considered a brother, would talk to me on Instagram, and I would tell him too much about my relationship with my husband. And there would be times he would flirt with me but I discarded it and wouldn’t pay attention to it.. well my husband went on my phone and saw I was talking to him and saw that I was being too friendly, and has accused me of cheating ever since...
 Now don’t get me wrong, I’d be upset if he was talking to a girl, I’ve already apologized for that... but I had no ill intentions, I would leave our marriage before that..
 But with all that being said, I just feel so angry at him, that I feel like I’m a caged bird, that I can’t be who I am, that I just want to be happy...

Answer

Let's be real I feel like it's not about the childcare he's just being insecure and controlling.

Answer

I only voted yes because there is a child needing childcare involved. I wouldn’t let someone new watch my child without running it by my husband first. It sounds like there’s more to the best friend’s ex story to me too. I’d suggest counseling. I’d probably consider that cheating too or close to it depending on what all was said.

Answer

You answered your question in the last paragraph. If you're not happy and he makes you feel like a caged bird you need to talk to him about it and see if things can change or leave the relationship.

Answer

Sounds like he’s insecure but it sounds like you’ve done things in the past to fuel that fire... “discarding” flirting isn’t really something that would make me feel better. If someone was flirting with my husband I would hope he would directly tell them to stop and not talk to them. And I would also be really hurt if he was discussing our relationship with another woman. You could both benefit from some self reflection, possibly counseling. And I would definitely talk to my husband about changing gyms, it involves finances, your kid and where you’re going to be spending your time. All things I feel your spouse should be involved in.

Answer

You should have discussed with him the gum for two reasons: the first a child is involved. The second I guarantee that Apex is more expensive than the Y.
As for the other things, I hope you both go into therapy because feeling like a caged bird is not good. While your side was innocent in talking to that guy, the guy may have had other intentions with the flirting. Also, you should not discuss your marriage with other people. While it’s nice having a friend to vent, if you are discussing your husband,  it portrays him in a terrible way, especially if its to family. Unless of course you are being abused in any way shape or form and you are trying to reach out for help.

Answer

I would probably mention it in passing. But my husband isn’t a controlling asshole like yours appears to be.

Answer

My husband and I workout together and we have two different memberships but if I were to switch to another gym he wouldn’t mind because at the end of the way what matters is that we are both healthy and fit, since that’s our lifestyle. I always have guys stare at me or talk to me while im working out but my husband never gets mad at me because it’s not my fault. Sounds like tour husband is very insecure and controlling, if you can’t be who you are in your marriage then you might want to consider the next step. Life is too short to feel trapped and angry all the time. Good luck.

Answer

He’s Insecure And Controlling

Answer

In general if it involves childcare yeah you should talk it over with your hubs. And personally even without childcare as a factor it's just something I'd chat about with hubs regardless, not asking permission just in conversation. 
But there is more going on here. Your husband's extreme reaction isn't okay. And it's clearly not actually an issue of childcare.

Answer

Because you are switching childcare services to the new gym, you should have talked to him first. I would be upset if my husband did that without telling me.

Is switching gyms something you should talk to your significant other about..?

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