I feel awful plz no judgment

Me and my son's father do not get along at all. We absolutely hate each other. I'm so ashamed to admit this but I see now we did use our son as a pawn. We constantly tried to turn him against the other. It was stupid and immature and we didn't even realize it until his birthday. Me and his father were arguing on his 15th birthday in front of the whole family. Idek what it was about. We were just screaming and insulting each other and it turned into us shoving each other. Our son had a panic attack and passed out and we had to call paramedics. Idk how we can make up ruining his birthday and embarrassing him in front of his friends. We didn't realize how our behavior for the past 8 years had been effecting him so much. He doesn't want to see either of us right now and has been staying over his friends house. My mom told me we are the parents and we should make him come home, but I want to put him first and if he needs time away from us I want to respect that. Me and my ex need to talk and figure our shit out because it's offering our child so much. Advice plz. Not judgement, just actually advice