Would you be upset if you were me?

My Grandma raised me for most of my childhood because my mother is mentally unstable and was never around, and my Dad worked 24/7, and often struggled just to provide for himself. My Mom’s adoptive parents offered to raise me with them, but my Grandma refused and cut them off most of my time living with her. I chose as a young teen to try living with my mom, but child protective services removed me because of my mother’s actions and my grandmother wanted me back. I eventually moved back with my Dad when I was an older teenager and really finally got to know my Mom’s side of the family in early adulthood. I had a rough childhood, dealing with random pained visits from my mother, missing my Dad away at jobs, self harm.

I have asked multiple times for my Grandma to stop talking about me and telling everyone my business since I am a grown woman now and am not the same person I was back then. She has told people my family members are dating about my childhood, about me self harming over 10 years ago, slut shaming me for over 10 years ago when I stupidly sent a nude photo in middle school. Not to mention girls at school bullied me for it and I attempted suicide and had to switch schools because of pages being made about me. Things I don’t want to relive or think about. Things I don’t tell anyone besides my husband.

I’m now in my mid twenties and have 2 kids of my own, and barely speak to her as I’m always having people tell me she’s talking badly of me and saying I’m “exactly like my mother” and telling people very private embarrassing details of my childhood/teens. She also says I am weaponizing my children by not bringing them to her. Then she holds it over my head that I burdened her by taking me in for 10 years and how that gives her the right to say whatever she wants about me to anyone she wants because “I’m demanding for expecting her to not say stuff she wants to”. My Uncle is dating a woman for 2-3 years who now knows literally everything embarrassing and from my past which is mortifying - especially since she reached out to me and was making comments about my childhood which she wasn’t even there for and making comments on how it doesnt matter how I feel, or what my Grandmother says, I need to respect her. Of course I’m grateful she was there for me when I was younger, but it’s exhausting always having someone talk badly of me and make me feel guilty for just existing as a child.

I now haven’t spoken to any of them for 3 months and wondering if any of you have advice.