I think I am FINALLY done with my abusive relationship

I tried to see my fiancé today. I left him a few days ago after he called me a whore and yelled at me in front of our 2 year old daughter. I have left him 4 times before and I always go back.

Today was different. Today we got lunch and I could not even form words to speak to him. He’s been so sweet and apologetic the last few days since I left and I thought I would go back to him again honestly. He wanted to hold my hand and instead of butterflies, I felt angry. He kissed me and instead of happiness, I felt anxiety.

I don’t feel safe with him. I don’t even know who he is anymore. I think we are finally over. I think I am finally READY for us to be over. I do feel a bit guilty and sad, but I don’t know if I’m sad that we are over or just feel bad for him honestly.

He was so emotionally abusive. I lost so much of myself to him and I don’t think I’ll ever get it back. He didn’t even realize or want to admit how bad he was to me and how nothing I did was ever good enough. But I do know that the song “Lose You to Love Me” is speaking to my heart right now.

Any advice or anything as I embark on leaving him behind and becoming a single mom?