Would you go to family therapy in this case?

Question

My mother abused me as a teenager and young adult. I’m 30 now and she’s still trying to gaslight me that she did nothing wrong. my sister wants us all to go to family therapy. My mother agreed because she wants to have a relationship with me and my daughter now. But when I saw her today (with my 9 month old daughter), she started playing the victim and embarrassed me by making a scene and crying at the restaurant and then started to tell me my daughter will treat me like I’ve treated her (I’ve done nothing but distance myself to protect myself and I have to protect my child). So would you go to family therapy in this situation?

Answer

As someone who has a mother like that: no
She already shows you it is not about repairing the relationship, it is about her playing the victim. 
I told my mother she can contact me the moment she has been in therapy and can admit she is not the victim and her behaviour is causing the rift. Only after this i would consider going to family therapy.
It's been 10 years now (and we weren't in contact 12 years prior)

Answer

As someone who has a mom like this no. My mother goes to therapy and asked me to do therapy with her, but I know in therapy she would play the victim and she would continue to say she’s done nothing wrong. She’s shown who she is and I think having no boundaries will never change

Answer

I think I would. A non-biased outside perspective may help her see how she has hurt her children and help you to create boundaries that help you feel comfortable with how you navigate the relationship. Or not! I’d feel it’s worth a try

Answer

Yes. I would go. A third party professional will see past her victim playing.

Answer

You definitely need to go. At the very least you need to forgive her. Forgiveness isn’t even for her, it’s for you. Just from your post it’s clear you’re holding onto resentment from your past. This does nothing but cause disfunction in your own life.

Answer

I think I would go to one session. Have your letter written and ready to say how you feel too. She can’t just cry and think it’s all okay now.

Answer

Probably not. I think I would just cease contact.

Answer

I wouldn’t do therapy at this point. I’ve actually been in this situation and my mom was only willing and pushing therapy because she was worried what people would think on why she has no relationship with me or my child. I also knew if the therapist ever did anything she felt was against her or for me she wouldn’t want to go back to them. I always tell my hubby if I could go a year without hearing from friends or family that she did or said something shitty id consider talking to her but she just can’t do it. My life is peaceful not dealing with her id like to keep it like that.

Answer

Yes.

Answer

I would stop giving her the time of day she will never change so stop spending your precious energy on her you have given her enough chances.. she will be like this in therapy and blame you, but you are not to blame. cut her off

Would you go to family therapy in this case?

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