Double minded

My husband physically abused me for 8 years (2004-2012) before he stopped. Last month I jokingly pushed his face, I did it too hard, it didn’t feel like I’d done it hard and it absolutely wasn’t my intentions. I saw his face immediately change, I was about to apologize but before I could even get a word out he said “do you know why I don’t hit you anymore? Because I would beat the fuck out of you”. The look in his eyes was terrifying. I apologized to him but I also told him that I think it would be best that we divorce. He’s been mentally and verbally abusive but this genuinely scared me and yes I do acknowledge that I provoked him. Since then he has apologized but he has also done more abusive things (none physically). When I tried to tell him about it he told me that he doesn’t consider what he does to be abusive. He also tried insinuating that I was abusive, I asked him what have I done that’s abusive but he couldn’t give me an answer. He knows that I pride myself on not being abusive, I have never hit my husband and I don’t raise my voice, name call, use profanity or demean/ berate my husband. He told me just because I don’t do those things it doesn’t mean that I’m not abusive and when I asked for an example of the abuse I’ve caused him he doesn’t have one but he reiterates that he doesn’t consider what he does abusive and doesn’t want to call it that.

Today, him and I had a conversation that went very well. It made me wonder if I’m overreacting and should I stay in the marriage. I feel like I should want to move forward with the divorce but I also wonder if I’m over exaggerating the abuse.