He says he loves me but doesn’t prove it

My boyfriend (28M) and I (26F) have been together almost a year and have known each other since 2017. It seems as if lately he has no interest in being with me. I think it’s worth mentioning that we have been long distance until now. We are from the same town and I moved a few hours upstate about 2 years ago, and he just bought a house about 30 minutes from where I currently live. He still lives at home and fully supports his entire family (both parents and 2 younger sisters). Nobody works but him, his youngest sister is in middle school and the other one is in college and can’t work because she is interning as part of her degree. His parents work free-lance doing upgrades to kitchens, bathrooms, bedrooms, etc., but because of the economy, they have not had work in months. My boyfriend is a mechanic with a steady, stable, well-paying job at a large company, so he is the only one making any money. They were renting a house in the town we are from and have been there over a decade and the landlord has decided she is selling her property, which means they have to find somewhere else to go. They had already been talking about moving to the same area I’m in because his mom has a sister that lives near me, but no motion has ever been made until now, now that they are forced to do something. After a few weeks of back and forth, he pulled out a loan and purchased a house relatively close to me for his entire family to live in. He never talked to me about it, we had talked about living together in my house and that was where it was left off. I was VERY upset when I found out (because he never told me, I just saw papers in my kitchen), but have come to realize that this is definitely the best option for both of us, because it’s neither extreme (living together or long distance). ANYWAYS, he secured a new job here and started working in order for the loan to be approved and has been staying with me while his family is packing their house and preparing to move. He wants kids and so do I, and we both have decided the best thing is to wait until I finish my schooling (only a year left). However, he has shown no intention of making this relationship last, at least in my eyes. He’s a very simple man, works and comes home. He has no interest in going out or partying, he doesn’t even drink. He’s a nerd who lives on his computer and has a very small circle he talks to (5 people max). I have absolutely no problem with that. But he has NEVER planned anything for us as a couple. EVER. Date night? Very rare, and I plan it. Going out to eat? He doesn’t want to spend any money. Going on a walk with me? He complains because his legs hurt or that he’s had a long day. Vacations are basically out of the picture because he

1. Doesn’t have any PTO now (because he just started his new job)

2. Doesn’t like to go anywhere out of the house

3. Doesn’t want to spend any money

So where does that leave us? We can watch a movie! Except there’s only so much entertainment that provides. My sister is visiting right now (we are close and they know each other and everyone is comfortable with each other), and the other day just before he got home from work I had asked her if it was okay if she gave my boyfriend and I some alone time before we all hang out, as I hadn’t really spent much time with him all week (we both work full time and our schedules don’t line up often). We were all together outside for a few minutes when he came home, and my sister got up and said she would come back in a little while so we can have some alone time. He got slightly upset, and kind of brushed me off and said something about it after she walked away, and asked me why I wanted alone time. I asked if it was such a bad thing to spend some time with me, and we both became flustered and aggravated. We did spend time together and it eventually turned out okay, maybe like a 6.5 on a scale 1-10, 10 being wonderful. That was just the other day. Then, last night, we started watching a series (Yellowstone) together. About 20 minutes in to the first episode, he said he needed a favor, and basically asked me to start touching him. Now, I’m all for sexy time with my man, but there was no initiating on his part, and no foreplay. It has been this way for a while now.

So let’s just make sure we’re all on the same page, he has bought a house he is going to live in with his ENTIRE family near me after he told me he would move in to my house with me, he doesn’t and has never planned or taken me on a date without me basically begging and planning it, and he doesn’t initiate in bed or give any sort of foreplay lately. He also complains anytime I ask him to help me with anything or do something that I would find fun. There was an event going on last week on our one day off together, and when I asked him if he would go with me he got upset and said he didn’t want to go. I’d like to add that whenever I ask what he wants to do, he says “I don’t know” or “whatever you want to do” if he gives an answer at all, usually he just wants to be on his computer. He consistently complains about everything, even when it’s something for his benefit. He also shuts me down often, without even understanding the full situation first. I have tried to talk to him at least 5 times in the last month and it seems he doesn’t even want to listen to what I have to say. I realize I’m making it sound like he’s a huge Debbie Downer, but he comes home from work with high energy and the biggest smile on his face because he loves his new job, it seems he is only so negative when I’m around. My emotions have been stirred and shaken to the point that I feel like I’m about to explode. And he asks me why I’m so upset. This morning, he told me “I can’t always make you happy.” My response was “You shouldn’t ever make me this sad though.” He kissed and hugged me and told me he loved me and went to work. Of course nobody is perfect and I understand he has the entire world on his shoulders (with supporting and moving his whole family), but am I asking too much?

** I would also like to add that he has been staying with me for about 6 weeks, and I have done ALL of the cooking, cleaning, grocery shopping, laundry, as well as maintenance on the house and have only asked him to help me paint my bathroom. I have not asked for a dime in return for food or power or anything else. I also cook and pack him breakfast AND lunch every single day for work. Last night I asked him if he would wash the dishes that were in the sink (about 10-15 dishes total, not a ton), and he responded “I have been washing my own dishes, none of those are mine.” I ended up washing them all because I was tired and did not feel like arguing, while he sat 5 feet from me eating chips and salsa and watching a video on his phone. He says he loves me, and he wants to be with me, but I feel very unloved and isolated.