Would love some insight ladies ….Help a girl going thru a lot?

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My husband and I have been in counseling for a long time. I’ve been struggling on how he shows love for me and actually FEELING loved.

Of course with counseling , we are both working on ourselves to better ourselves. I’m focusing on being stronger and the best version of myself . I’m a word of affirmation girl . My husband lacks and I’ve asked him to improve / work on something’s for me, so I feel connected again. I feel VERY disconnected and have lost that desire and love for him. I care and love him but not in love with him. I don’t want to be intimate with him, and have no drive to. (I have a big sex drive, just don’t have it with him) … but to be honest the sex wasn’t really ever that AMAZING. I rarely climaxed.. or would do it myself. I’ve had more sex drive with past relationships . And it makes me miss those past relationships. The sex was better and I was loved in a way that made me feel SO GOOD about myself.

The way he treats me isn’t bad. Not abusive. But he always is defensive if I address how things made me feel a certain way. And abandons me whenever we fight or if he wants to avoid me. I don’t feel connected anymore. We’ve grown apart , and he rarely likes to elaborate or talk about feelings or in depth convos. So with our connection being weak, I feel so scared

I don’t want us to go our separate ways. I refuse to give up. I so want to be IN LOVE WITH HIM again. It makes me mourn past relationships .

In counseling , I know we are becoming the best versions of ourselves and only growing and getting stronger as individuals . We’ve been in counseling for probably half the time we’ve been married .

I was so drawn to him. Knew I loved him . I almost think I was so insecure with relationships that I felt I convinced myself that he was perfect for me. Because he loved me !!!! And i did love him.

I’m lost and scared . Again, we are learning and still growing but i feel super discouraged . Any advice ?