Advice: Relationship with MIL

Truthfully, now that I have a baby, I’m kind of uncomfortable with my MIL. We’ve always had a great relationship, but I get nervous when she babysits. I don’t feel entirely confident that she’ll abide by our rules. I don’t appreciate that she always assumes I’m comfortable or baby is ready for her to hold her. I certainly am not comfortable leaving baby with her overnight. I hate that she walks away out of my sight when holding baby. It makes my skin crawl when she offers my child for someone else to hold and doesn’t ask me. It makes me uncomfortable that she wants to “bond” with my child while she changes her diaper. It bothers me when she constantly calls my daughter “her girl”. I feel ill when my daughter is fussing and crying and MIL doesn’t want to give her back to me because she’s “got it”.

My husband insists I suddenly hate his family & thinks I’m too attached to baby. Truthfully, I probably am a bit too overprotective. And I desperately do not want my MIL’s and my relationship to turn into the cliche. I do not hate her, and I am very grateful for all of her help. I just don’t know how to loosen the heck up and not be so bothered by these things.