I’m seriously struggling.

I don't have many friends, and the ones I have live so far away in different time zones. My day is their night. So I don't have many to vent to.

A lot has been going on. A lot of really heavy stuff. I try to cope it as best I can but everything piles so high, so often, I can't catch up.

Insha’Allah one day it'll be better, and I ask Allah daily for relief. But I can't hear him speaking back.

The best way to describe is like this. I'm drowning in the deepest part of the sea and there's sharks circling me. I'm bleeding and losing strength and breath. And I'm panicking if the sharks will attack before or after I drown. Either way, I'm losing seconds.

This deen has never been easy. It's put me through the ring more times than not. I know it’s not easy for anyone. I respect that and keep quiet because I know everyone struggles and I don’t want to be added burden. So I try to tell myself it'll hurt less but it's opposite. It hurts more with every example.

I know this whole thing is vague and I’m sorry. Getting into details becomes a book I struggle to write.

But I'm drowning.

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